"They call me Bianca. I am 21 years old and I have a lovely boyfriend, Gingy."

i ponder the life without a smile

"I was at a very, very high point in my life where everything 
was great, I was so happy. Umm, and then like I was meeting 
the people who support me with the thing that I love doing. 
And um, the day after I got back-so the whole vlog is me 
just being happy, but the day after I got back...
I am just on a high and then something like hits you personal 
that you fall from like 50 stories of buildings I -ugh- 50 floors 
onto the ground straight down. You're not gradually getting sad 
because of one thing. Something just hits you and you just-you 
just-I just saw a tunnel like, I wanted to disappear so I thought 
I'd get off YouTube, i'd just disappear quickly, sigh.
Um. And I thought that would help because I was leaving for the 
people who I most cared about in real life, but obviously they did 
not care enough for me, to know how miserable I was, and how much 
YouTube meant to me, and they didn't care about that. So I left that and. sigh
So then I was left with nothing. I had no one to support me with anything, 
I just sat in my room, painted, we got rid of the internet. I-just like just 
3 days ago, when I got back on twitter I just-it just clicked to me that 
you guys are the ones that support me with what I love. 
So I just want to say, never let anyone walk over you and 
just- conquer your own dreams and don't do it-like, don't change yourself 
for anyone sigh, because it is not worth it." -☼ heyimbee 2014 ☼
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