☔️

I miss you more than you ever imagined.

I feel ashamed when I miss you because I know you don't belong to me.

Why it still feels so hurt.

I still miss you.

Crying in the middle of the night. 
          Alone. 
          As always. 
          Hide it from everyone.

You made cry again. 
          
          Maybe one of your skills is making me cry.

I always get confused when I think about you. 
          
          Half of me wanna hear that you still love me and want me badly as before, so I can stay here to wait for you with all the consequences. 
          
          And the other of me want you to say and do more bad things to me, so I can walk away and never look back at you. 
          
          Please make it easier for me, don't hanging me like this. I can't breathe and felt so sick everyday. Throw away or just kill me.

Again... 
          
          I'm waiting for nothing. 
          
          I feel like the stupidest person in the world.

I miss you.
          
          After all this time, yes, I do miss you.
          But there is something different than before. Now, for me it feels strange everything about you. 
          
          Maybe it's because you're not there when I need you the most. The way you treat me like there is nothing serious about my pain. 
          
          When I through the tough days, you rather to choose her than me, your time seems so pricy to gave to me, you even said something mean to me, you made my days even harder.
          
          I remember I cried a lot those days.
          And you were not there.

I still can't hold my tears falling down when I remember the past tough days. 
          I'm not healed yet, the pain is still there like it's just happened.