It's hard when you lose someone special to you. It's so hard. Just when I was getting better I realized that one year ago, on December 15th, my grandma died at 10 AM. She had cancer. If someone had told me it would hurt this much, maybe I would have been able to brace myself for the pain. This pain doesn't feel like it's in my heart or my mind. This pain makes my whole body hurt and my entire chest aches with an invisible weight. I think it's in my soul. Grief is the hardest task I have been given, it affects my whole being without even being seen. This hurts so bad and I don't think anything helps. So today, tomorrow and throughout the holidays, I remember my Grandma, because even if I don't believe in God, I know that she's an angel. I just hope she knows how much I miss her. I love you grandma, and I always will. Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and Hail and Farewell.