So it's been four years, give or take. I'm absolutely stunned at how much of my life has changed since then.
When I first left, I promised I would come back when I was eighteen, so here I am. I always thought I would come back to my account just the way it used to be- here I am, laying it to rest. So I guess I'll say goodbye to my past with a sort of... letter to me.
Hey, Manny. I know everything's really scary right now for you. You're leaving all your friends, both on and off line, and everything you know is about to get turned upside down. You're old enough to know that this isn't the way your world should work, but too young to do anything about it. I feel the same way right now.
As we speak, I'm dealing with similar struggles on what feels like an even larger scale. Heading to college, dating behind my parents' backs, leading a totally different life privately than publicly, struggling with which aspects I need to hide for my own safety.... It's messy, and it's been the same struggle for four years.
But the difference is, I can see my horizon now. I've tasted what it's like to be yourself, completely and unashamedly. I have the freedom to pursue it- if not now, then soon. My friends call me Bennie and use the right pronouns, I'm about to ask a girl out, I have so many people besides my shitty parents that love and support me, and I'm so blessed and honored to have them.
Things won't be perfect, but you've grown so much, and I'm so proud of who you're going to become.
Thank you for helping me become who I am today, and thank you for surviving long enough for me to become them.
