this message may be
offensive
@meeoowface Hi yeah I'm sorry and you're right. I miss old times too, and I'm not really sure what happened. I guess I don't feel like I can be happy anymore, no matter what. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to anymore. At school all it is, is "plan your future this" and "what career are you going onto? that" and I think I've taken all their advice the wrong way and just got... a little depressed about it? As a student of so-called above average intelligence, I feel great responsibility to do well in academic subjects... and as a result I just don't feel the love of coming up with ideas and making them into stories to put on wattpad like I used to.
Nothing's fun anymore and I feel like I only learn things because I HAVE to, not because I want to. I have no desire to do anything, and I'm afraid to say this lack of desire has consumed the creative part of me too.
I love learning and writing, don't get me wrong. But I hate school... and people... and I'm tired of waiting for the next stage in my life, the next good thing - why can't I be happy now?
What I'm trying to say is... I can't write until I'm content. I'm not happy, therefore have no desire to write. So right now I'm trying to get through each day without getting into trouble, trying to get the marks I need on my work so teachers will stay off my back, and trying not to get into arguments with people I don't want arguments with. That's how it's going to be for another year until I go to sixth form, where I can ditch all the assholes at my school and learn stuff I WANT to learn. I don't give a shit about why Hitler was popular or the key events in chapter one of Lord of the Flies or whether or not house prices are affected by Felixstowe docks. I WANT TO FUCKING WRITE SHIT.
._. sorry