Mizu

But the thing that drives me absolutely insane is the mixed signals. One minute it feels like he likes me too—like the way he looks at me or the way he acts around me is different—and then the next minute he’s acting totally normal like I’m just some friend he’s always had. And it makes me feel like I’m losing my mind trying to figure out what any of it means.
          
          And now he’s talking about joining the Air Force, and that thought honestly terrifies me. The idea that he could just… leave. That one day he might be gone and I’ll never know if he ever felt the same way about me. I’ve never been so scared of losing someone before, especially someone who means this much to me.
          
          So now I’m stuck here asking myself the same question over and over again… should I just make a move and tell him how I feel? Or would that ruin everything we already have? Because the truth is, I don’t know what’s scarier—telling Bryan I like him… or never telling him at all. 

I mean… our moms have been friends forever, so Bryan and I have basically known each other for as long as I can remember. We grew up around each other, and somewhere along the way he stopped being just “that boy my mom’s friend has” and started being… him. Bryan. And now it feels like every time he’s around, something in my chest just flips upside down.
          
          He makes me feel things I honestly thought were dead inside me. Like the kind of feelings you hear about in songs but never think will actually happen to you. He’s so funny, and yeah, he can be kinda stupid sometimes—but in the cutest way possible. The kind where you roll your eyes but you’re smiling so hard you can’t even pretend you’re annoyed. And when he laughs? I swear it’s the best sound in the world.
          
          The worst part is when we’re not together. When he leaves, everything just feels… quieter. I catch myself wishing I could hear his voice again, even if he’s just saying something dumb or making some random joke. I hate how much I crave being around him, like my brain just automatically looks for him even when he’s not there.
          

Js an FYI for this. It might take longer for the pages to be posted because it will all be written down in an actual Notebook. I'd like to have something to pass down to my heirs to let them know that they will never be alone. Take care of yourself. Then go fuck yourself. 

Finally gonna make smt. Probably gonna be shit. Tbh idgaf. Tired of keeping things shut up but I also don’t got anyone to talk to w/o feeling like a bother. So, take care of yourself. Then go fuck yourself. 

Wild bio, btw. /mj

Hello, human.

thanks for the follow. are you a bot