SHALOM

Wouldn't have done it without the Lord and you guys, frl. Happy new yr.  

OMG, happy new yr guy's. I keep going on and off this app. The festive period kept me busy. Either way, I hope this new year holds much grace and love to the lot of us. ♥️♥️♥️

Hi Shalom,
          I just want to say thank you so much for all the support you’ve given me this year. Even though I haven’t been updating as frequently, you never gave up on the story, and that truly means a lot to me. Thank you for being such an amazing supporter. As we’re about to step into a brand new year, I didn’t want to leave this one without expressing my gratitude to the people who stood by me and you’re first on that list.
          Thank you so much.✨

And also chapter 3 caue I removed some historical background and added it there. If you can help me check and rate i would really appreciate it

Hey dear, there was something you told me about my first chapter. I've decided to take it into consideration. Please can you read it and tell me how it is, if it's better or not

V 4 v

Hi, I'm Gia. Let's follow each other on Wattpad

Mirrors and bubbles by Molahsmitijiro
          
          Hello, it's me, AltheaSumail! This is the promised critique that we talked about hehe! I am very constructive and corrective since I am a member of Genuine Writers Circle in facebook [who does a lot lot of critiques HAHA!]
          
          Anyway! Here goes nothing babes!
          
          IMPRESSION: You already have a strong pull for reader's intrigue even at the very beginning. The placing of your terminologies is so well, your wordings are neatly applied, and your execution of narration is cohesive. Basically, the mechanics of your vocabulary is well-written. Though, I would like to point some grammatical mechanics such to start with capital letter at EVERY beginning of your sentence, at EVERY after your period [.], question mark [?], and exclamation mark [!]. That is very essential in novel writing. (●'◡'●) Mechanics always determine the tones and voice of your story for the readers.
          
          GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS: I rarely noticed some slip here, such as "when ever" which is better if its "whenever". There was also a part where you introduced Cream who was observing Calvin, and I got a little confused there because of the misplacement of the punctuations. Allow me to explain.
          
          This is was the part by the way: [[[... chubby, quiet cream, who would prefer nothing more than to eat her lunch and continue her relentless efforts of observing, Calvin Ramon.]]]
          
          Alright, here is the thing. I didn't immediately know that Cream is the name of the character because it wasn't written in a noun form. To make it noun, as I said, always start with capital letters. I thought she was a literal cream. And since there is a punctuation before Calvin's name, I thought you were actually describing Calvin being creamy, cute, and curly HAHAHA(≧∇≦!)ﾉ This is why capitalization and punctuation really matters.
          
          So yeah, that's what I noticed in grammars and mechanics of your story aside from the typo errors.

Heyy please give a chance to this book 
          Vote for vote
          Follow for follow
          Read for read 
          If you support her she will support you back , please give a chance 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/403497139?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=SarlaTripathiTripath

Can you give 2 votes for my book Escape ;)