Finally, here it is!
OK, so, I was on wattpad and checking my notifications today when I got inspiration from a comment about the Philip Ham after death edition of I Am A Poet™.
So last year there was this kid named Philip that I had almost every class with, and even though our names aren't that close together on the alphabetical scale, we somehow always ended up sitting next to or across from each other.
Now, Philip and I argued A LOT. Like, Hamilton and Jefferson if they didn't actually hate each other's guts and were acquaintances a lot. So, one day we were in ELA arguing the sh*t out of each other when the other kids in our 4-person-group said simultaneously, "I ship it."
Well, I might or might not have liked him at the time, so I was blushing my *ss off and did my best to play it off (BTW they already knew I blushed at like, everything anyway). I actually did pretty well.
But anyway, some kid at another group, let's call him Allen, who was Philip's good friend, heard and agreed. So now I was pretty pissed.
So about a week later, my friend and I were at our temporary assigned lunch tables and Allen was there too. So we were arguing about the school's cookie making skills (don't ask), and my friend said, "Hey, if you really want to make her upset, just say 'Philip died and it was his own fault.' Now obviously, she was referring to Philip Hamilton, but Allen thought she meant Philip in our school.
So I had to rush to explain this to him as he looked at me shocked and tHE CURRENTLY ALIVE PHILIP LOOKED OVER AT US CONFUSED. I LITERALLY DIED AND HAD TO EXPLAIN IT TO HIM IN THE NEXT CLASS.
Welp, there ya go!