Nathaniel Albano

Love your account <3 

scintillate
          verb
          emit flashes of light; sparkle
          It has come to my attention that this verb is occasionally misused (*cough* The Glass Slipper *cough*) 
          and I'd just like to point out emitting light and sparkling are not personality traits and undesirable in most humans who are considered to be 'normal', unless of course said human desires to be a lighthouse or other such thing.

I have frequented this site for almost a year now and yet I only just noticed that it was made in Canada. O+ for observation.

I hereby crown myself King/Queen of Hypocritpacifia and ruler of all its few occupants. 
          As the new ruler of this mainly imaginary kingdom I now decree that originality and freedom to pursue unorthodox pursuits is tertiary and must be in existence and enactment at all times.
          That is all peasants.

I feel obliged to place the unedited prologue of Loving Linguine here. It was written by my friend Alexander but I decided it was bit too graphic so I changed it up. We're actually writing the novel together.
          Prologue
          Bernice was glued to the TV watching an episode of MediocreChef. This show was bad, and the only reason she was watching it was because her parents were in that episode. Completely ignore the fact her parents had left their five-year-old daughter alone in the house.
          “Bert and Bertha,” the host said to Bernice’s parents. “This is terrible. It tastes like poo soaked in ***** and ****ed by a ***ing *** and shoved down a *** and fried in burnt lard and then buried in the garden with deadly ****** grown over it and dug up and pissed on by a dog that had been given birth to by a ******* and *******…”
          10 MINUTES LATER…
          “… and ****ed and **** in a ***… and in other words, it tastes like shit.”
          Mr and Mrs Stultus reached for the knives the host had behind him as decoration. They took a knife each and killed themselves with it in a gruesome way on live national television.
          Despite being in front of a TV several miles away, blood sprayed onto Bernice’s horrified face. She switched off the TV and vowed that someday, she would become a really, really amazingly good cook so she could go on that show and stab the **** out of this host’s eyes and brains and serve his eyes and brains to the other hosts and make them and eat them and slash them apart and tie them up to a ****ing string and…
          10 MINUTES LATER…
          … and force them at gunpoint to **** each other sideways and shoot them in the ****s and  In short, get revenge.
          END PROLOGUE.

So about five days ago I learnt that chai lattes are in fact caffeinated and that if I drink a large I get really hyperactive and much more truthful about my opinions than is wise. So if I wrote some comments that people were offended enough by to actually visit this page in righteous anger then I do apologize although what I said was probably an honest if slightly offensive opinion... Yeah not the world's greatest apology but I'm tired enough to be bitchy so sue me. (please don't) :P

A true author isn't judged simply by the stories they write, it's how they write them. If a book is to be compelling or beautiful the words and sentences reflect this and if it is designed to be repelling or confronting the writing style should be similarly so. When an author has mastered the art of word smithing the universe shall be at their finger tips and hopefully they will spill it onto ink and paper. I can only but hope I shall master the art of this as I feel Craig Silvey, to a larger extent, and Betty Sharpe have done both artfully and intriguingly.