Lost

I'm still waiting for u.. And forever will..

@univerivery and @just_to_be_here
          Dang it you guys 
          
          
          Eh I’ll do it anyway 
          
          It’s okay to acknowledge your flaws, but also see your strengths. Reply publicly with five things you like about yourself and send this to ten other people 
          (Non-negotiable, positivity is cool)
          I got it from @just_to_be_here

It's okay to recognize your flaws, but you should also acknowledge your strengths. When you get this you to answer with 5 things you like about yourself publicly. 
          Then send this to 10 other people
          (Non-negotiable, be positive!!)
          Originally from @pupsterbirb
          I got it from @univerivery
          
          You're still getting it lol

We miss you on here
          Can't wait til you can get back in Wattpad~
          So much has changed
          (This is just for a surprise for when you're back)~~~

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD
          
          Once you get the award you should post is on the walls of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it's nice to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out.

You play such a big role in my life and you mean a lot to me. I have never met such a perfect online person such as you. You really are so gorgeous both inside and out. You are so worthy of my time and you arent worthless. I love you a lot, and I mean it when I say that.:) 

Angry. Distant. Scattered.

Clouded. Confused. Distant.

I want to give it all up...
          
          
          
          
          But why did I have to meet you all? You are are too nice to me... You all make me give a shit about living. You make me want to continue on, when earlier, I couldn't give a fuck about waking up.
          
          You all are the reason I have to rethink everything. And sometimes I hate it. I  want to take the easy way out, but I'm just being a coward. I have to pull through, right? I have to continue, or else who will look after  you all?
          
          I've known too many people who have quit. I've failed someone who quit, but they knew I cared. I just wasn't enough for them... And to this day I will never forget it. I can't.
          It's because of her that I want to continue for you all. I don't want there to be a chance that because I am gone, someone else disappears as well... I hate to think about it..
          
          But why me? Why am I the one that does this? It's my fault for coming here, for reaching out, for trying this hard... And it hurts.
          It hurts to think about all the 'what if's?'
          What if I can't be enough?
          What if they hate me already?
          What if I'm too late?
          What if I'm pushing them away?
          What if I'm being pushy?
          What if I'm too annoying?
          What if I'm too clingy?
          
          I hate this shit..
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          I'm so fucking sorry..

It's almost 2:30 and yet these fucking nightmares creep back into their place. They haunt me for everything I've done...
          It's the same day.. Same time.. Same lost soul..
          It hurts so much...
          Just please stop this all.. I can't sleep like this... I just can't do anything like this.. No one can help with it.. No one...
          
          Just stay away.. You'll only be dragged down... You'll get hurt.. You'll find out the real me and with you never knew me...
          
          I'm so sorry.. Just please leave me alone...
          
          I'm sorry.