Had a re-read of this after quite a long hiatus. It’s better than I remembered though it definitely needs editing. It’s worth a look, if only for the information it conveys
https://my.w.tt/v6ZO6Dmt82
Found myself getting into full flow on chapter three last night sitting in McDonald’s with some chicken and a coffee. A good 1500 words. Chapter two isn’t finished yet though. Hopefully this will be in good shape to post at the weekend