wonderless glazer

This January, I'm no longer someone you know.
          I'm no longer a person who lets their tears flow.
          I don't put off work,
          And I don't let myself lurk.
          
          Last January I savored pain,
          I would've done anything for you to stay sane,
          I would've chased you,
          I would've begged you to learn to love too.
          
          I keep to myself,
          I don't beg for wealth,
          I take care of me,
          I no longer purposely scrape my knee.
          
          But I still watch the sunset,
          I still remember when we first met,
          I still miss you,
          And sometimes I catch myself wishing you do too.
          
          But I'm not someone you know,
          I don't end texts with the word so,
          I'm not who I was with you,
          Because the thought of it makes me blue.
          
          To still be someone you don't want,
          But truthfully I'm the same in a different font,
          Yet you still don't want me,
          But I still hope one day you'll see.
          
          For all I do is for you,
          Maybe we'll talk soon,
          So please don't forget who I am,
          Because if you asked me for anything I'd say, "I Can."

The song
          There's this music box, and I've heard its song once.
          It lays in my room almost always silently, until one day.
          That day when you chose to pounce.
          
          I heard the song for the first time the day I never heard another word.
          All I could hear was a broken hum.
          The box was broken and could hardly be heard.
          
          Its reminence haunts me, the hum sounds like yours.
          Once I tried to fix the music box,
          It wouldn't stop playing the sounds I was known to adore.
          
          I tried to make it forget you but it was constant.
          It was in a rhythm – mm mmm mm –
          
          But sometimes at night it’ll play me a different song,
          One I haven’t heard.
          
          Maybe my music box isn't broken,
          Maybe your song was never meant to be played.
          
          (I still love you)

Sunglasses
          I didn't see you correctly, I had my rose colored sunglasses on.
          They made everything pink and pretty so when I took them off I was disappointed.
          (Why is it all so bland without you?)
          Everything was in black and white, I hate it.
          But I once saw the bland colors, no?
          I must have lived once without my favorite rose colored sunglasses.
          When I was a child and I bought my first pair I swore to never take them off, they showed me my favorite colors.
          (You were my favorite colors)
          My parents would have to tell me to be careful, it's easy to break something you love.
          (Did your parents tell you it too?)
          I miss my rose colored sunglasses.
          When they broke in your hands, I wondered how I never saw the real colors of the world.
          My parents had stopped reminding me to be careful, so how did you break my rose colored sunglasses and not me?
          (Was it really that easy?)
          Did I see the color because of you? Or was the rose colored sunglasses my childhood essence? 
          Did you kill me, or did you kill her?

MISS YOU. MISS YOU. MISS YOU!!!!
          I hate my inability to see you and to be with you, why can't I? It was your decision to leave, yet it never would have been mine. You're far away and yet I imagine you so close, why can't I reach you? If it had been up to me there would have never been all this space between us, especially not this mental distance.
          I MISS YOU.
          You haunt my mind, you haunt me.
          I replay us constantly, and it's not optionally.
          I MISS YOU.
          I can't stop playing your laugh, I can’t stop listening to my memory of it, of you.
          I MISS YOU.
          You’re all around me. You're in my room, my music, my phone, my thoughts.
          I MISS YOU.
          I’m tired of this distance, I want us back.
          I don't want your memory anymore, I want you. Not this distance.
          I MISS YOU.
          But I don't get your calls anymore, or your texts, I don't get you anymore.
          So I guess for now, I’m stuck missing you.
          I MISS YOU.

Tell me you love me
          Tell me you love me, but don't lie to me. Tell me you love me, but tell me what it is. I know you don't love everything, if you love anything at all. So tell me, what do you love about me? Is it how I listen when I can't even handle my own problems, or is it the way I try to humor you no matter what. Or worse, is if because of how easy it is to use me? It's well known how I just sit back and let you take from me, use me until I'm nothing but a dried our rag, but what is it you truly love about me?

wonderless 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          ptv?????

posted some writings if anyone wants to see btw !!

hii XD

Ur so slay

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