ashhhhhhhy

@AshLeon_ ingatkan comeback dah HAHA, kot2 laa tulis cerita baru pulak. 

Today I’m really at my lowest point. I’m so exhausted. Before this, even when relatives passed away, I didn’t cry - but because of this one thing, I suddenly became so fragile and just gave up.
          
          I don’t even know how the days ahead will be, but I hope everything will be okay. I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. Maybe my prayers and fate are just taking a bit longer. I keep asking for it, but it still doesn’t come. Now I’ve even started comparing myself to others… HAHAHAHAHA
          
          But I don’t know… I guess I just have to be patient. I’m tired, but I still have to keep going and be patient.

I’m not really sure why, but ever since the person I loved the most passed away, something in me feels different. Whenever I hear that someone else has died, I just feel… empty. Like I don’t even know what I’m supposed to feel. I don’t cry anymore, even though I know it’s something sad. It’s like I’ve gone numb, just taking in the news without any real reaction, even though I wasn’t like this before.

My department only had a supervisor and a manager, so on my last day, I didn’t feel sad… just a bit disappointed. There were no final words, no small farewell, nothing — it just passed like a normal day.
          
          I guess it hit a little because I’ve seen others finishing their contract with small celebrations and even going out for meals together. But when it was my turn, there was nothing at all. No goodbye, no words of encouragement. It’s okay though… I already knew from the beginning not to expect too much, but somehow, it still felt disappointing.
          
          I even put in a little effort to prepare simple gifts, but yeah… it is what it is.
          
          Still, I’m happy that at least during lunch, I got to spend time eating and hanging out with the packing parcel team and the marketing department on my last day. That moment meant a lot 

Today marks the last day of my 6-month internship, and I’m honestly so excited that it’s finally over — I made it through!
          
          To my crush (F), thank you for being my motivation to come to work, even on days when everything felt mentally exhausting. From the very first day until today, you’ve been that quiet source of encouragement. Even though we only talked a few times (mostly random company gossip ), I was always happy whenever we did.
          
          Honestly, sometimes just seeing you for 3–5 minutes at the PC next to mine — even without talking — was enough to brighten my day. It became my little sign that the day of working was almost over 
          
          During the first and second month, I was mostly on my own and didn’t really have friends yet, but having you around made things feel a little better. Even just seeing you for 3–5 minutes every day was enough to make me feel happy and less alone, especially when the desks on both my left and right were empty. And with today, it’s also the last day of having a crush on you.
          
          To my colleagues who talked to me and kept me company, thank you for making me feel less alone. Even though we only started getting a bit closer after 3+ months, it still meant a lot to me.
          
          I’m truly grateful for making it this far, even though I’ve been counting down the days since the beginning. I’m also so relieved and thankful to have finally completed my internship and moved on from a place that was mentally exhausting at times. It wasn’t easy, but I’m proud that I made it through in the end.
          
          Finally — I did it. I survived 6 months. 

It’s okay if 2025 was full of pain.
          May 2026 repay everything with happiness.
          It’s okay if I fell in 2025;
          May 2026 see me grow stronger
          and keep me away from everything that is not good.
          
          Even though 2025 was stressful and overwhelming with assignments—I lost, I cried— 
          it was still better than internship days, when I had to face everything alone and felt lost.
          May my future work life be kind, smooth, and filled with good things only.
          
          May 2026 surprise me in the best ways,
          and may my family be blessed with good health, protection, peace, and abundance, kept away from harm, hardship, and anything that is not good.

After almost nine months of no contact, I reconnected with someone I’ve always seen as an older brother. He was the one who reached out first, trying to figure out whose number it was after my name was no longer saved. At first, he didn’t recognise me, and our conversation felt a little formal. But as we kept chatting, he eventually realised who I was and noticed that I had been going through a tough time.
          
          About a week later, he checked in again to ask if I was doing okay after seeing my status about being exhausted. That was when he started opening up and sharing his thoughts too. It genuinely made me happy, because it’s rare to reconnect with someone you’ve known for so long after growing distant.
          
          Even though we both had to start work early the next morning, we still ended up chatting until nearly 3 a.m. He cracked jokes, shared his advice, and somehow made everything feel lighter. Sometimes, it’s people outside our daily lives who understand us better than we understand ourselves, and their presence alone can bring a sense of calm.
          
          To A, thank you for still remembering me and for being willing to chat, even though we may become strangers again someday. I will never forget the encouragement you gave me about my internship when I was feeling down and exhausted. InsyaAllah, I will put all your advice into practice.

Day 12
          
          Lately, I’ve been feeling so drained. Every morning I tell myself to keep going, to stay strong, to smile even when I don’t feel like it. But deep down, I’m tired — not just physically, but emotionally.
          
          I thought this internship would be about learning new things, meeting new people, and growing into the person I want to become. Instead, it feels like I’m fading a little more each day. I work hard, but sometimes it feels like no one notices. I sit quietly at my desk, surrounded by people, yet it’s like I’m not really there.
          
          There’s this heavy kind of loneliness that comes with trying to fit in but never quite belonging. I miss having someone to talk to, someone who understands what it feels like to be new, nervous, and trying so hard to do everything right.
          
          I keep reminding myself that this is just a phase — that one day I’ll look back and see it as part of my growth. But right now, in this moment, I just feel.... tired. Tired of pretending I’m okay. Tired of smiling through the silence.
          

Assalamualaikum. Perkenalkan saya Si Siput berasal dari planet lain dan berkaki dua. Kalau tuan hamba ada masa senggang bolehlah dijemput untuk membaca karya patik. Patik sangat berterima kasih dan kasih diterima jikalau tuan hamba sudi membaca. Semoga ceria selalu dan dimurahkan rezeki✨. Patik tumpang promote ya, terima kasih!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/390369137?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=LYSH_A

in a difficult phase, just hope that everything will be fine and I will be able to survive. It takes a lot of knowledge and sacrifice to become an adult.