Orange1Banana

Heyy guys so umm, I'm back and I feel so... Empty? Like a familiar dread is coming back. I don't know how long I can keep this up, I might be going through like my third year of depression. (Earliest signs: Third Grade, like 5-6 years ago) (Or maybe second grade) I feel like I don't belong. I don't wanna go back into a dark space again. I barely got out. Like my mental health is... Plummeting. Third day of school and I already can't. Last year I almost gave up. Until a friend going through a similar thing helped me and I helped her. But now maybe it's time to let her go? Because who knows what happens after this year ends. But at the same time I wanna continue our friendship but I don't have the socials which is a big reason for my loneliness. How can I do this. I don't even know anymore. I just want someone to help and understand, I'm tired of always being the therapist friend, and I have to give my sister advice on her recent breakup. I can't even help myself so how can I help others. I wouldn't be surprised if I give up. Like I almost did. All these bad thoughts and self harm has... Helped? I just hope I make it out. Again.

Orange1Banana

Heyy guys so umm, I'm back and I feel so... Empty? Like a familiar dread is coming back. I don't know how long I can keep this up, I might be going through like my third year of depression. (Earliest signs: Third Grade, like 5-6 years ago) (Or maybe second grade) I feel like I don't belong. I don't wanna go back into a dark space again. I barely got out. Like my mental health is... Plummeting. Third day of school and I already can't. Last year I almost gave up. Until a friend going through a similar thing helped me and I helped her. But now maybe it's time to let her go? Because who knows what happens after this year ends. But at the same time I wanna continue our friendship but I don't have the socials which is a big reason for my loneliness. How can I do this. I don't even know anymore. I just want someone to help and understand, I'm tired of always being the therapist friend, and I have to give my sister advice on her recent breakup. I can't even help myself so how can I help others. I wouldn't be surprised if I give up. Like I almost did. All these bad thoughts and self harm has... Helped? I just hope I make it out. Again.

Orange1Banana

I wait. I wait for the moment when his hand will reach my face. 
          
          But it doesn't.
          
           I open my eyes and look up to see my mom holding his wrist. Looking at him angrily. "Don't. You. Dare." She says to him sternly.
          
           "Why!? Huh!? Look at what he has become because of how soft you are!" He shouts. 
          
          "What kind of father acts like this!? When I have a baby girl waiting for a good family and you can't even give your son a good childhood! Go outside and take a breather! Get out! Rethink your decisions! Or else I have no choice but to leave you! You don't have a proper job! I have to work grueling hours at work! Five days a week! And you!? I bought this house and I have every right to kick you out! Now go outside!"
          
           End of discussion.
          
           He went out and my mom immediately hugged me saying sorry. 
          
          "I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I couldn't give you more."
          
          
          
          ~M-A-M-A-S    B-O-Y~