hey there, patrice! your review on one of my entries was very much appreciated. i actually checked your work WAAIH. funny because not so long ago i muttered that line when i was struck down by one of my past relationships. i melt in secrecy, in jealousy. that i instead just say, "words are all i have."
anyway, to you work, i liked how it started. it kind of drew me in because of the aforementioned backstory. but, when i read the following entries, it deviates to what you want to build on. it tackles different things and contexts as well. however, the 5th part seals the deal and gets its own back. there you continue to trudge the line again. what i could just say is, you have the potential my dear. just stick to what you want so you could be cohesive. draw two lines and trace them altogether.
much love,
matthieu x