Hello,
Thank you for your comments and for giving Guild Business a try.
I wanted to let you know that I’ve gone back and revised the first three chapters, with most of the changes made to Chapter 2. I’m still aiming for the same overall tone and feel for the story, but I took another pass at those opening chapters and tightened a few things up.
If you decide to keep reading, I hope the updated version works better for you. :-)