Peregrin Took

Writing a borderline su*cidal character into the short story I wrote as a part of a Czech language competition.
          
          That’s just the way I roll (I’m a fanfic writer who writes characters that reflect parts of me lmao)

Reading a fanfic is going “woohoo internalised homophobia” and “yay panic attacks” because those are the kinda spice you like. (I don’t mind smut, but angst is what makes a good fic)

The anxiety is KICKING INNN

Fucking love it when the chemistry teacher who doesn’t even teach me anymore stops me in the hallway to ask how I’m doing because I’m visibly not doing good
          
          What do I even tell her? Oh you know, the undiagnosed chemical imbalance in my brain is making me want to hurt myself over the dumbest shit, but like, I’m doing great!
          
          Like it’s nice that she cares but honestly I’m just not doing good rn

When you realise the panic attack was over something that resolved itself in the end
          
          
          I FUCKING HATE MY BRAIN

I may or may not be having a panic attack

Tw
          
          So like hearing people joke about self harm is so fucking triggering help.
          
          Like, I joke about wanting to die.
          But like, I only do it in front of people I know won’t be uncomfortable.
          
          But omg self harm jokes are the worst because like, this is too fucking real 

I feel like shit

My problem is that I understand things but I don’t remember shit
          
          It’s so fucking frustrating

I fucking hate that I feel WORSE