satan chan the 1st

Anyone else remember that feature wattpad used to have where you could see where the people that read your stories were from?, like it legit showed the countries? That feature was why I, back in mf 2020 decided to make a Spanish version of that bitchass psycho ash pokemon fanfic. I didn't know shit about Spanish in 2020 and I still don't tbh, the only words I actually know are leche, gato, culo, pendejo, pendeja and ne ----------------------- gro, that one means the colour black \: and I can count to thirteen in Spanish, that's abt it tbh

I am so scared of what I used to read and write on here, like don't tell me that in 2020 I wrote a story where a ten year old becomes a motherfucking serial killer and flips his shit, if you remind me of any of my old stories I too would flip my shit

Y'all Ignore the fanfics that were recently posted, my brother made those because I will not be living the embarrassment that is people reading the stories my 7 year old brother made and the people thinking I wrote it

I don't feel like I'm in my own body, life has gotten boring, leaning on my elbow feels weird, breathing doesn't feel how breathing normally feels and thinking makes my head feel unnatural, I rarely ever find good fanfics anymore, my art is a sad and pitiful depiction of what I wish I looked like and scrolling through social media holds no significance anymore, all of last year I got into countless fights and I have committed self harm, I have generally made other peoples lives worse and I just feel useless, back in 2020 when I first joined wattpad I would have been 11 years old, owning a giant shopkins collection and feeling joyous when seeing my dad, I'd get to see my BFFL in person and now all that is gone, ever since i moved to a new school in 2021, i try to imagine new worlds where i can be how i want to look in my mind yet i alway end up realising that that universe will never be real and its simply a form of fiction, i have no idea on what's real or not either, say for example im messaging a family member or friend and i then think 'what if im not really messaging [insert persons name]' 'or what if im not really alive? Am i alive?' Nothing feels real anymore.

How do people find confidence in commenting on posts on tiktok, tumblr, TWITTER (i refuse to call it X) and other social media platforms? Are people not scared of being cussed out for making a stupid joke or pun? Do people not fear being doxed for letting out their opinions to social media?

I just realised that i suck at accepting compliments from people online 

Jk, I'm crawling my sorry ass back here, specifically because of the whole ao3 pro Palestine and Zionist situation, if ao3 can't  get their shit together then I'm going back here.
          
          I'm not fully aware on what the whole thing is abt but I know ao3 just dug their own grave for some shitty mistake they made

Hi I would like to inform that this specific wattpad account will be abandoned since I no longer really have any interest in Pokemon
          However I do have another account which is @The_ghosties and it is run by me and a friend from school 
          The account is about ghosties which are basically ghosts but cuter and there is already a story posted which I have yet to create art of the characters
          
          So as of tomorrow(Australian timezone) this account will no longer be in use

Hi I'm feeling new fresh and yassified after sending a death wish to my dad because he claims that my money is his when it's been in MY money bank for years

Ayo 
          I'm back with a fresh new mental breakdoen due to my mums friend touching me