just read it over it's getting good so far though you do like to you use the term gohst a lot, maybe branch the vocab a bit into parts of undead, i do understand you may want to alert the viewers about some incorporeal ghastly figures we might see in the future i just think saying ghosts soften might a bit boring, and that's something that can be easily edited with an array of hidden notes of horrific flavor, like zombified or walking cadaver, things like that could probably fix some issues, there's also great places to say that Jerry's or even Ronald's is grave though now i'm just mumbling on about all the deadly puns you could use when i just came here to say great job so far and i can't wait until the next chapter, you deserve those stars I gave you. My horror story won't be as long as yours but i wish us both the best of Luck for Bean Boys and Blackwood Forest keep writing! Also ps exclamations are monopolized by horror so i can't wait for the first Bang!
