Hello. I'm Jasper Charles Allan Jones (Pretty hard to believe, but there's more to it that that) and I most definitely do not want to be friends with you.

People say I'm a little bland. Lucy likes to say it's because I was raised by Kirkland.
But that's not true, I'm simply sensible and classy.

*he clears his throat, before blushing slightly* I'm a gentleman who goes both ways if my taste in mates does attract your attention. 
I don't like girly boys though, and I certainly don't like the macho type who think they're loners.
As for woman, I don't like sluts. Or the superbly innocent ones. 
Classy, please, classy.

But listen, I don't like people, so don't mess with me.

I have no appeal to troublemakers or adventurers, unless they like riding horses.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
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Hey Ya'll! I'm Lucy Mae Jones, the Southern Half of the State of Louisiana!
I'm a cowgirl, just like Jasper(but he doesn't like showing off his side around many people).

Unlike Jasper, I'm straight, though I have had my moments with girls.
What female personification hasn't? 
We live so long we can't help but get curious sometime.

I'm a voodoo gal deep down, so don't screw around with me~
Seriously. Get too far on my bad side and we'll be having some serious problems.

I've got great cooking skills if ya'll wanna come over sometimes! I can make literally anything!

French and Spanish deep down, I'm a natural born cook AND lover~ *winks* 

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Second Account - Ancient Rome - @Roma_Antiqua

Highest Ratings:
Civil - Fan Fiction #229 / Short Story #300
War - Poetry #26