A quote:
"To the one I love.
I know this is forbidden. Whatever it was. Nevermind it was an accident, I killed it myself and our love is dead and buried. But no matter. I still love you. Even though it's in your attic, you still hold my heart. But how am I supposed to tell you this? Whenever I read love stories, listen to love songs, I think: "that could have been us." Talking to you while you act like nothing happened, like nothing has changed, is nearly impossible. So the elephant sitting on my chest goes unacknowledged. Even so, my heart goes on beating for you without encouragement. Often, I lay awake at night and think "I want to love and be loved." Ah, well.
But sometimes, I have hope for the shattered future. Unknowingly, you drag me along by a red string with every little joke and touch. The string is wrapped too tight around my neck and I cannot breathe but somehow, I do not mind.
I cannot imagine loving anyone else, ever. I imagine my future, filled with fine things and contentment, and there is someone beside me. It is always you. That faceless lover I see in my dreams could not be anyone but you; it is beyond my mind's power. That is how I keep going. It doesn't matter that we are polar opposites, that you would never be stupid enough to try again. I weave futures out of our past, and hope they come true.
I'm sorry. You didn't ask for this confession, this ugly reveal. But do you even care? You go through people now like you're looking for something unattainable, or running from something inescapable. But these may be just personal biases. Maybe we were fated to end up the way we are, what with you loving so quickly and me loving so deeply. I'm sorry. Do you know the burden you carry?"
