SlitheryOwl1595

Yo its HaruHaru 19 from ao3 just checking if you are ok? Its been months that an update on your fics huhuhu 

Here's the link: 
          
          https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/KeepingSecrets

I made a TVTropes page for Keeping Secrets! You're welcome. You might want to add to it yourself, cuz I'm no expert with some tropes.

Read my comments by beginning to bottom. 
          
          PS: What do y'all think of all of this?

Ah, last thing I forget that is absolutely necessary: Glory to the emperor spriggan and the empire! (Perhaps Zeref could even get a new more... laudatory title in the future, given his newfound humanity and benevolence as well as pratically at this point godhood and divinity through one way or another by himself, by his subordinates or his people...)

Also I know that ''Savior in the clockwork'' is mainly centered about August, (Or ​​even that he's the MC) but I still think you could at least diversify the POV between other very important characters for this story like: Zeref, Mavis, Natsu, (These three would be really the main one apart from August.) Makarof, Grey, Lucy, Erza and the remaining 12 spriggan twelve (To be precise these characters are not in the category ''very important'', but they are still major enough in Fairy Tail so that their POV would be really interesting and relevant and add more depth to the story, therefore, since they're not so major and important to the story, they should at least have ONE POV part of their own and depending on how long you plan this fanfic to be, if it would be like 90 to 200 chapters with maybe sequel, all of these characters should have at least 2 to 3 POV chapters dedicated The sole exception would be. Irene and Dimaria if you add them as lovers for Zeref and yes, Zeref would be the sole and unique character in the ENTIRETY of fiction, I would acknowledge, accept and genuinely love his harem-love relationship, not even Rimuru get this honor and that says a lot.)
          
          PS: Just in case, here's two links for Fairy Tail things:
          
          
          If you need help and references for Fairy Tail lore and powerscaling to make the Fairy Tail world and characters as accurate, powerful and imposing as possible: https://1drv.ms/w/c/455f2a901ac6fec9/IQDLGBrYFy_fQar1LhnA2ITPAR2x_zMx3W2dfL2ZPrG0C4Q?e=L4qZTe
          
          My playlist Youtube for songs that goes well with Fairy Tail (So that you could you could put some of them in your fanfic with corresponding chapters, it's really cool to read peak fiction works, while LISTENING to peak songs works lol.) and Fairy Tail videos and shorts in general: 
          https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbLLI1yQSlKVj_fd0pdhmu-Qoso-javUR 
          https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbLLI1yQSlKVj_fd0pdhmu-Qoso-javUR&si=hFN-oSOqdZ5TdhZN

I still think you could at least show the other possible offsprings that Zeref and Mavis will have had over time, other than August and Larcade, (Whom both would have acknowledged as their child, obviously.) as well as possibly those of Zeref and Irene and Zeref and Dimaria. You got almost all the perfect set up that I imagine for showing the TRUE glory of his majesty Zeref. Like... 90-140 chapters like some of the longest and biggest Fairy Tail fanfic, I think that would be alright for a fanfic with a potential as great as this one. Also what do you think of the concept of comp Mashima works x Tensura or War Hammer 40k? (Or even the three) I would love SO MUCH to see two or more giga chad God-ruler (Of course Zeref, Big E and the main rulers of the Cardinal world.) facing each other, of course that encounter would be far, far away in the hypothetical future of the Alvarez empire and therefore also pretty much part of the final peaks (With the other things in previous comments as well.) of that also hypothetical big fanfiction. If you take me at my word tho and try this big challenge, that would of course need a lot of researchs and works, but I still think it would be worth it for a plethora of reasons that I could probably elaborate on if you really want to. Also, I'm actually just as obsessed with Tensura as I am with Fairy Tail, so if a crossover fanfic between Tensura and Fairy Tail tempt you one day, I could help you for the lore part at least. (I'm not THAT knowledgeable about Slime since I don't read the Light novel, but I still read the manga up to the latest chapters+ I view A LOT of Tensura vids.) Like... maybe even in the future of this one? Or just in a completely different story or even in a spin-off.

And for the war with heavens, he will probably work to strengthen his empire and his subordinates as much as possible, like for his empire in general, he would probably work for advancing his civilization and his armies in general, while for his close subordinates, he will likely work to modify their very existences like he has done to himself. (Like bro transcends the concept of space and time, it isn't so weird that he could manipulate reality if those concepts are the very foundations to reality itself...) For example, as a reward for helping in the most important victory of the empire so far he could simply grant and implement any wish that his closest subordinates desired (Like for example, one of the most obvious is the desire of Irene to regain her humanity and her senses...) he could just improve to the max their already existing powers so that they will be more in accordances with their new ones and even make them completely immortal by stopping their ''time'' for those that are correct with it or explicitly wish to accompany their emperor on his very, very long journey to free himself from this curse... And I know that this fanfic is centered around August, but I think this just has too much potential to not include at least some of these ideas in like maybe a kind of sequel centered this time around Zeref with the majority of those ideas or just a kind of spin-off to the main story of this fanfic. (Or even the inverse, because this fanfic will be a spin-off with August point of view at the very beginning of the events I described...) Furthermore, I really like the concept of Zeref x Irene and Zeref x Dimaria along with Zeref x Mavis, but that's only a plus if I'm being honest unfortunately...

Now For the final details of this hypothetical future: I think that Zeref revealing all of his past, thoughts, history and biographie to his people (In like books and biographie oh himself, maybe even in a Diary style of what he remember that he would write AGAIN and publish officially this time around all the corner of his empire including Fiore, just because he don't care and why the fuck not?) would be a pretty good idea, because one: this would trigger the sympathie of his people, so they would probably have a strong will to definitely free him from that curse since they reveres him a lot by the start, (Probably for some reasons like he took them out of complete misery because of the dragons of their continents, but also because of countless civil wars and instabilities...) and two: because I wonder and want to see what would be the exact consequences of that also, especially maybe in Fiore... Plus after the victory of Alvarez and his reconciliations with his closed ones, he would probably realize his future problems, (e.g his absolute immortality.) so then he will get immediately to work on that problem, for exemple I imagine that with Fairy Heart he would reconstruct his very existence countless and countless times to get as stronger as possible while he would also create alternate copies (Like he just travel a few second in the past to meet his self of that past creating a new timeline, and he does that a absurd number of time.) of himself so that they would travel into countless and countless other dimensions, and parrallel universes to train as strong as possible to kill Ankhseram... (All of this is only a little summary of what I exactly imagine, I could maybe write a complete version of my ideas into word if you want.)

Overall I personally think that a final great war against the Alvarez empire stronger than ever and a somewhat of a ''heavens'' for comp Mashima's all works (Including Fairy Tail of course.) would be alright for final peak of your fanfictions (Like in this scenario for a waging war against heavens and transcendentals gods like Ankhseram and Chronos, you would need a timeskip to thousands of years to even millions or billions of years into the future with a civilization type 7-8 for a Alvarez empire which extend to countless and countless timelines tree of ''universes'' like the main one of Fairy Tail where planet Earhtland is to even have a chance against such opponents I think...) And now you would maybe think that I'm going too far with all of this, but hold up, two things: first Fairy Tail is still mainly a battle shonen with somewhat extremely OP scaling if you got the right arguments+ is similar in various ways to fiction like Tensura, so I think this would be correct and pretty normal to have that kind of things. And two: your fanfiction just has so much potential that I can't help but suggest those things that hype me SO MUCH...