Bugs&Lola

I'm so sorry for the long paragraph up there, it sounds pretty stupid and irrelevant now...

Idk if anyone would read this but i really need to get this off my chest before i actually cry
          
          Soo my friend, a very close one, got asked out by her crush and im so happy for her. But the thing is. we both like the same person. Don't get me wrong, i'm genuinely really happy for her, but there's this part of me that feels like it got crushed really slowly. I feel guilty for being even a bit sad when i should be happy for her, but i really can't help it. 
           
          We both know that we like the same person, but somewhere deep down i always thought he liked her. Those two are very close friends and were basically a couple before it even got official. She was really scared to tell me about it since she thought i'd be mad at her for accepting it, but the guy made the first move so i don't really blame her for accepting. We can't control what people feel, and he clearly likes her if he got the guts to ask her out. If he's happy, i'm happy. If she's happy, i'm happy. That's how it should be.
          I didn't cry, but i want to. Everything is kinda bottled up inside me and idk how to let it all out. It's like there's a weight pressing down on my chest and just gets heavier the more time goes by. I'm happy for her, i'm happy for him, but i'm sad for myself and feeling like that seems wrong to me..
          
          On the other hand, i also feel like i'm losing myself. I live in a healthy environment but my mental health still seems f-ed up. I feel like i'm just being dramatic and managed to convince myself that it's nothing for the past two years, but it doesn't feel like nothing anymore. I genuinely don't know who i really am anymore. To my family i'm bratty, to my friends i'm sweet, but alone? I'm nothing. I don't laugh, smile or anything. I wanna tell my best friend about everything but i feel like telling her would simply burden her while the exams are so near. I don't think i'd be able to open up to her anyways
          
          If you read this, i'm sorry for wasting your time. I just needed some sort of an escape..

oMagoSh i have 7 followers :)))) and 7 reading lists to match :D

Hello my dear, I started a new taekook story called „Spell on me" <3 if you don't mind please check it out & show some love!
          
          The story is about a toxic deal, kind of enemies to lovers and lot of drama.. also it's bottom kook and top tae <3 (it's NOT a love triangle story, Jimin is just a side character!!)
          
          It's almost complete so you don't have to wait long for new updates!
          
          Thank you in advance :)
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/398562201?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=wangzico

Sooo I know our president probably won't see this...
          
          But HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMINIE!!
           
          Always be happy, be healthy and remember that we love you <33
          
          ✨

Thank you for adding my book into your reading list lovely bubba♡´･ᴗ･`♡

https://www.wattpad.com/story/392970405?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=whimsyDoodles
          
          Do check out

I just read a very fluffy book and it's my newest comfort book :))) i wanna cry it was so cute

I've been reading too much angst and now I need therapy.
          
          I'm trying not to read angst but angst is attracted to me. I'm in dire need of fluff but a minimal angst or no angst fluff (specifically top tae) book is basically impossible to find nowadays. Someone send help :,))

So I'm here to rant :))
          I just read a book, finished it and I just wanna address just how many people excuse a bottom's mistake, even if it was like completely unjust. Like lemme just make a whole plot just to prove my point. 
          
          Imagine tae is secretly a gangster and he got into an arranged marriage with koo, who was an orphan w yoongi as his brother. Tae didnt tell koo he was a gangster cuz he knew koo didnt like gangster and underground stuff bc he didnt like violence and thought gangsters were like, all evil. BUT the twist is that yoongi is also a gangster and didnt tell koo to protect him. He told tae to keep it a secret too. So boom koo found out his hyung nd husband were gangsters. He forgave yoongi immediately for God knows what reason and proceeded to be angry at tae. BUT THEN he left the whole damn country js cuz he was mad, and 6 minths later he came back and tae forgave him very easily.
          
          So in that storyline, only about 30% of readers would actually say koo was being overdramatic and that it was totally unfair.
          
          But then u flip the script and replace tae (top) as koo (bottom) w the same storyline and role. Totally different results. 
          
          Since it was the bottom this time who got treated unfairly, everyone goes ahead and attacks the top (tae), and would call him out for being unfair to koo. I would predict about 75-90% of readers would attack him. 
          
          So my point is, DOUBLE STANDARDS are so normalised nowadays it's not even funny. Top or bottom, they're both humans, and any mistake made by a human will be considered a mistake regardless or bed positions or titles.
          
          To anyone who read this, sorry for the rant but I really had to get this off my chest.