T. Allie Jayne

R u still on here 

When you can’t put the words to paper. It sucks. Anyone wanna read the draft for the chapter Twelve and I tell you how I want it to end and someone gives their opinion? I know what I wanna write. Just have no idea how I wanna go about it… it’s probably unconventional but I wanna complete the chapter and move forward with the next chapters that I know exactly how I wanna go about them. 

Gotta love writers block... So close to finishing Chapter Twelve of LU and have no idea how to put it into words the last few paragraphs... Love it as I am trying to dumb down the explanation of the events that Coudray isn't going to be an issue... Kinda ironic, having an issue at dumbing down and simplifying the dialogue and story. Was hoping to publish today so fingers crossed...

I truly appreciate the follow! 

Thank you for voting en Dirty Little Secrets!

K I'm starting LMM and I can tell the difference already,  so I guess it would be kinda silly to  combine the two stories,  excuse me.....

The really long message I guess on my other cell, because I don't see it here?? Please let me know if you CAN'T find it, and I'll tell you again.....
          Even though my old cell is in my bedroom for sleeping I thought I could talk with you, but I don't call from it, so I guess it's not h OP joked up??
          I believe  it's in chapter 3 or 4, but when the tall women says to really rinse her. The guy cuts the rest of her underwear off and then she tries to hid her body! Now his is a word but in this situation you need to say hide! Hid is more personalized,  like I  hid that pen in between the folds of my skirt!  Although with her hands tied behind her back the only way to hide would be to curl up into her own body!  Then I see the guy roughly pulling her up telling her to get moving!! See I'd love to help you edit and talk over ideas with you!  The one thing I am as an editor is that I'm through and want the author to understand and get why, for future writings on how and why it should be written!!!

oobviously, I enjoyed the story that m uch that I'm back  here to read it again!! If you'll read my profile you'll see thg that I'm Brain Damaged and when I read a story and then go read other books and then come back to it it's like I'm reading it all over again for the first time!  Of course I'll remember the storyline but the talks and what the intricate details and talks are are new to me!! But having received 120% in my High school English class,  I thank God that it stuck with me and now when I'm reading and the mistakes just POP out at me and I can see how it needs to be corrected, but this one was just too obvious that I figured that I wouldn't have been the only one to make that comment,  but it was one that WAS bugging me to not point it out to you!!

Again, obviously you've quit the story,  BUT is that because you just don't know where to go with it? Why was Nell's reaction to her gift SO negative  AND then why'd he demand that she was handled carefully because he didn't want her marked up for his sister,  but as soon as he was home he'd get his thrill from her, beating her up and making her scream? Obviously I can see SO MUCH happening here,  and PLEASE DON'T quit writing this story!?

And had she met Nell,  yet? Cause I see her taking in her battered form, and asking her what has happened and considering she was a present for her, she takes her under her wing to protect her, and I see her getting mad and banishing her brother from the house, but this is where you as the author comes in, and these are just my ideas.....
          And why was she getting excited about Nellie's name, I know hearing a name can make you happy and shiver with the expectations, and I can't wait to see how she feels for her after meeting her..... But the way she's acting now makes me, the reader, feel as if she has met her?
          Enjoying the story & can't wait for more,
          
               @Misty2Dorothea