so, cookie monster, i haven't read everything as my life got ridiculously busy all of a sudden, but i took a few minutes to check out three. you have some good ideas, you have something to say. about the only thing i would do if i were you is work out the smoothness and rhythm. try reading them outloud, it helps me when i have this problem. and believe me we all do. but it is a big help. always keep in mind where you want the poem to go, what you want it to really say. then once you have it on paper, work on it til its smooth. and don't ever think once you think its done you can't change it. i'm still going over things i wrote 45 years ago and finding ways to improve them. we all learn the same way, do and redo. just think, when you get it perfect, you can show the invisible her....who knows, maybe it will work!
