Actually, I guess I'm not done. I still have more ginger ale and SpongeBob.
I've discovered that there is a stereotype for depression. I have no idea why I never realized this. Anyway, the most that I've seen is that depressed people get random flicks of sadness, self harm, are suicidal, and are loners.
In all honesty, I fit that profile.
But that doesn't have anything to do with what I was saying (it kind of does I guess).
Depression is something that is quite difficult to understand. For me, it's like having writers block. You can't find the words to describe how you're feeling or a reason for why you are so sad at random times. When I try to describe how I'm feeling, I get this weird urge to just destroy everything in sight. I feel like crying and screaming. It makes me want to pull out my hair and peel away my skin. It makes me want to kill myself. So, I read. But I read so fast that the book is over and my surreal reality is gone. So then I'm left sitting in the dark, wondering if it'll be wrong to cry. Sitting there, on my bed, with the faint light of the moon, or no moon at all, makes me feel alone in the world. There was one time when I called my best friend and tried t explain how I felt. But I couldn't get my thoughts in order; it made me want to explode.
My brain is scattered right now so I understand if you don't understand what I'm saying right now. I can hardly understand what I'm saying right now. I'm just typing out my feelings, drinking ginger ale, and binge watching all of the SpongeBob episodes. I have no idea why I'm posting this on my Wattpad account, but I kind of don't care either. If anyone can relate, please DM me. It'll be nice to know that I'm not alone.
Goodnight/morning,
<3Aaliayh<3