Hey, what do you want? Yeah, it's me! Harley Quinn! Now what's it to ya? I know what you're here for, you're here to mess with my Mista J, right? Well ya ain't gettin' to him! That's right, I know what you're up to! Hah! You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you, 'cause I'm not even a real blonde. But anyway...I guess Mista J will be fine with me talking a little bit about myself...

Alright, like I said I'm Harley Quinn. I used to be Dr. Harleen F. Quinzel...Back when life was hell for me...But I don't wanna talk about it, okay? Go bug someone else about it! But...That was all before I met HIM! Joker...My angel...♥ I was in love! And I knew he'd make life better for me...He even loved my name. Harleen Quinzel...He told me with a little switch-er-oo, it could be Harley Quinn! Like the clown...I know. I've heard it many times before, ya know. But my puddin' loved it... And now, I love it too.

But my puddin' doesn't always seem too happy with me! It's all B-Man's fault...Stupid, stupid big ugly bat! I want him DEAD! Dead, dead, dead, dead, DEAD! Because....He- He's always in Mista J's way, damnit! It's not fair for my Mista J to go through all the hard work he does just to end up a failure again! D-Don't tell him I called him a failure, okay? But really...He isn't a failure to me! I love him, I love him, I love him! And I swear...I'll do anything, for my dear Mista J. ♥♥♥ But....I just wanna say, if there was no Batman, there'd be no Joker, and I'd have never met my Puddin'. Thank you, Batman. ...Ya didn't hear it from me.

Alright...I ain't gonna talk anymore, 'kay? Go on! Beat it!