Hey, I'm your period. 
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Taken by @TheOfficialPad <3 
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I hope you find my service satisfactory. 

I'll be sure to come at an unexpected moment when @TheOfficialPad or @TheOfficialTampon is not with you. There's also a 100% guarantee of relentless pain and agony with a pinch of rollercoaster-like emotions! I'll also be sure to stop the bleeding after about 5 days (that way you'll think I'm gone for the month and you can get comfortable), then unexpectedly return the next day in the middle of a church sermon when you're wearing that new dress.

Are you pregnant or did I forget? That's for you to find out ;)

Love ya! < 3