Thralldame

 Beneath the Waves Chapter 3 - The Voice  is available tomorrow (30 July) at 7 am GMT+8

Dao7344

Hey dear this is your requested one shot part one. Hope you like it ❤️
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/1638361757?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create_writer&wp_uname=Dao7344

Dao7344

@Thralldame I’m glad you liked it and thank you for pointing out those mistakes, I really wrote those parts at different times. So thank you letting me know and I’ve fixed them now.
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Thralldame

@Dao7344 Hey, first of all, thank you again for the lovely story. Don't worry, a bit of drama is always needed in a story. 
            I only have two critiques. (It just bothers my analytical mind.) 
            1. The timing of the first night is a bit off: Liuyi spends a few hours with guests, then goes outside, and it's past midnight; he falls in the ocean and sleeps for 3.5 hours; they travel back to Chusan's house, only to arrive past midnight again. The next part of the timing is fine, where Chusan gets back home at 1:35, waits for Ming for an hour, and Liuyi gets home at 4 am. I suspect you probably wrote this part at different times, hence the time inconsistencies. 
            2. Coffee is coffrr in the second part.
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Thralldame

@Dao7344 Thank you so much ! Will let you know when I finish❤
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