If you ever fuckin call me thomas the fuckin train, I'll remove your brains with my bare hands, darlin'.

If you're a father or would like to be a father, look no further. Mine's been at the store for about 20 years.

I'm not going to admit to being the most obnoxious lad in the world, but at least Hitler had the common decency to kill himself.

Everything I say is sarcastic and definitely rude but I do have a bit of  a heart once you get to know me. I'm also incredibly good looking, funny, intelligent, witty, charming, hilarious, did I mention that I'm breathtaking? So you should probably hit me up if you want some class A entertainment and somebody to look at who's pleasing to the eye. I'm single so if you want to hit on me, I won't be mad. I also wouldn't blame you.

'I speak the queen's english, you dumb bitch'

-roleplay-