Torhu Fujioka

TWICEEEEEEEEEEE

Thanks for the follow ^^

Oh yeah, and the jokes are from 
          
          
          kickasshumor.com/c/6/funny-long-jokes

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. 
          
          While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. 
          
          While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. 
          
          Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
          
          His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
          
          Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
          
          I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
          
          But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
          
          Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
          
          In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
          
          Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
          
          Love, your son, Joshua.
          
          P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home! 

God creates dinosaurs 
          God destroys dinosaurs 
          God creates man
          Man destroys God
          Man creates Dinosaurs 
          Dinosaurs eat man
          Woman inherits the earth. 
          
          -Jurassic Park 

Me: *Just rambling on*
          
          @Crimson18ki: I’m eating a bread stick and apple together, screw you

Rp? 
          
          Am bored ;-;

Why TF did I laugh so hard? 
          
          
          https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJkwcNsG/

(Warning: This might be a sensitive topic)
          
          So apparently........
          
          
          There was a man outside of the hospital room window that I was born in... he was drunk and snuck in and caressed my face before the doctor came in to check on my mother and I, he found the man and scared him off. A few days after I had been born, we were discharged out of the hospital and the same man was found dead and in pieces on the train track we passed on the way home......
          
          And someone nearby told my mom that the same night I was born, the night he had snuck in somehow, he had been so drunk that he walking onto the train track while it was going.... and his last words were “She’s finally here” and I swear my eyes widened to the size of saucers once I was told of this. 
          
          I don’t know whether or not he’d been stalking us, or if he knew anything about me, but I will now be watching my back everywhere I go and be very cautious of everyone...