ugh.

wtf my hair feels so much more floofy and soft than it used to 
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          IT'S A MIRACLE

fuck

well I'm leaving wattpad for good! It's not because of depression or anything, it's just that I feel like I should get a new hobby and start working on other things. Love you guys, but sorry. Good bye!

I feel like I'm going to regurgitate my last three meals man, what did I eat, like seriously

hm... I feel like making a fantasy type fanfic... er... I dunno though, maybe. Maybe my fucking game addict side to starting to come back, meh.

I have so many messed up problems, but even after that, you people support me, which really, REALLY means a lot to me, even if I act or realize it or not.

Thanks for all the kind words everyone, and from the bottom of my (cold, cold) heart, I wanted to give you a genuine apology for worrying you guys so much... I was just so goddamned frustrated for everything that happened to me, and it just got out of hand... Honestly, you're all too kind to me. I don't really know what to do anymore, I think I'd just like to take a break or something, or do something to take my mind of everything again. No, in case you were wondering, I'm not completely okay yet, and yes, I do still cut (antidepressants are shit), and I get a few suicidal thoughts here and there, but it usually doesn't get that out of hand. I'm grateful that everyone tried to stop me from doing something idiotic and drastic though...
          
                                                     -Stephen

I can't bear to see this. I know you hate life, society is pretty fucked up. I understand. But really, this is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Get help. I know that its hard or people think you are over reacting...but  its what you have to do. But please...PLEASE for me, do something about this. Or just at least don't do it. I know you don't know me...but so many people care about you...including me. So please please please please please PLEASE don't end it all. I will never forgive myself....<3<3<3 always keep fighting,
           
               -Hailey

IF YOU SAY LIFE IS BULL THAN YOUR WRONG PEOPLE SAY THINGS WILK BE ALRIGHT BUT SOMETIMES THEY ARNT SO IF YOU WONT TAKE THST THEN HERES A MESSAGE FOR YOU PEOPLE GO THROUGH HELL EVERY DAY AND NOTHING CHANGES BUT THAT DOSENT MEAN YOU SHOULD GIVE UP IVE GIVEN UP ON STUFF AND I REGRET IT DONT BE LIKE ME! GIVE LIFE A CHANCE!!!!

I can't take this anymore, I hate myself, I hate my life, I want it all to fucking END. Wattpad has been a little bastion where I could just vent out all my pent up shit, but now I don't think even that would help. Some of you have been incredibly kind, and I thank you so, so fucking much for that. I don't know what to even do anymore, should I just kill myself and get it over with, it's not like I'm doing any good to anybody I know. Who would miss me anyway? Cutting and shit like that could keep my mind off things for a while, but not anymore. I guess I'll see you all somewhere... maybe in Hell? I honestly don't give a shit, I'm breaking inside, I can't take all this bullshit people tell me by saying that everything's alright, because it's not, never was, never will be. It's funny how people don't care about some people much until they're dead, right? It's funny to me, really funny.
          
          
                            -Stephen (the real me, the fucking loser.)