My friends: You're a turtle 
Me: No I'm not
My friends: Yes you are
Me: *denies*
At the end of of the school year
Me: I'm the turtle queen you unworthy peasants 
My friends: That isn't a good thing 
Me: It is now

Mom: How did you finish your ice cream in 3 days?
Me: I don't know
Mom: Maybe you should eat a normal amount of ice cream per day
Me: I don't know what your talking about. Eating the first quarter is normal
Mom: . . .
Me: . . .
Mom: . . .
Me: It is

The Sushi story is shit. Don't read it.

Seeing all the Flip The Table memes
Me: *Looks down at the tables*
Me: I can't flip a table for shit
Me: *tries anyway*
Me, screaming: I DID IT! I DID IT!
My Brother: Stop screaming. You didn't even flip it. You literally only lifted it 2 inches
Me: 2 inches of pure muscle
My Brother: . . .
Me: . . . It's an accomplishment
My Brother: You need to get some muscle
Me: Shut up

I like books. I'm a book nerd. A lover of books. A bookoholic. A book lover.