@HaleyDaniel
Yeah i really liked it, it reminded me of my old story i made when i was 6th grade, i think i'll bring that back up. and as for what i like, its the atmosphere of it all, the story could go far. as for story wise, keep going. doyou mind doing the same for mine? i want to become a novelist and i need some perspective on my work. it would mean the world. :)