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There are not enough cigarettes in this world for the break I need after today wtf

Born to overdress for casual events, forced to live in pjamas all day every day 

"I'm so tired, I know you're not supposed to sleep in makeup, but in my defense, I didn't switch out my dangly earrings either"
          *wakes up half strangled in the necklace I forgot I was wearing*
          Did take my bracelet off though, if that makes it better pfft

Do you enjoy media a normal amount, or do you also: rewatch multiple times, hyperanalyze body language/eye movement/subtle context, and write full transcripts; just to write semi-accurate but cannon diverse fanfiction?
          Because I feel like I might be losing it just a bit pfft 

"So it's just me on my lonesome. I mean, the tv or music is always running to drown out the quiet, but after 2 and a half years of never having to pause it for anyone, the noise just becomes a silence of its own" 

Not that I don't appreciate my instant coffee, but one day I'm gonna ascend into the level of adulthood where I own a coffee machine. 
          I feel like that'll be the peak of having my life together, and the time isn't right yet, so for now I will patiently wait with my precious powder packets 

I CANNOT enjoy cross stitching a normal amount.
          Absolutely impossible. 
          In fact, it's by law that I need to spend a week designating my entire being to The Craft™, and then abandon it for months because my messed joints make my hands too cramped and twitchy 

Me: I really should try getting a reasonable sleep schedule sometime.. 
          Also me, the one time I'm actually tired before midnight: mmmm coffee 

Spinning in my wheelchair and whisper-yelling lyrics to music on my hype playlist at 2am after picking out the outfit I'm gonna wear for Christmas because 3 months ago I was told there's a chance I wouldn't make it to December and I'm still kicking 

In another universe I open a book café. 
          I'm behind the counter laughing over a funny line in a customers favourite book while plating their sweet treat I made the night before and the coffee machine is running in the background. Off to the side of the counter people are having an engaging discussion about the best tea flavor. There's a group of kids listening to someone using stories to create a fantasy world around them. Before closing time all the overstocked baked goods get given out for free to anyone who needs it; whether financially or to cheer up. I put out fresh flowers, humming to quiet music when the first customers of the day trickle in and I smile a "be right with you" while they check out todays treat display and ask about different flavours of pastries. 
          In another universe the days don't blur together, the world is colourful, my life has a purpose and I'm happy.