Using words to describe how I feel right now, will never do these emotions justice, but I will try my best. After my assault, I remember thinking "This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me". For me to say that after everything I've endured in my near 2 decades of life, means that in those moments I was completely debilitated by the trauma that had occurred. I blamed myself for putting me in that situation, I thought it was my fault. I know now that what happened was nobody's fault but my assailant's. In those first few days afterwards however, I couldn't even look in the mirror because I was so disgusted with myself. From the age of 15, poetry has always been my outlet. When I began treatment for mental health issues at 16, my therapist used my poetry as a way for me to properly articulate all the feelings I didn't understand. After a run-in with my assailant at a party, I went back to my room and wrote #MeToo as a way to regain some of the control he had taken from me. Before submitting it to the Wattys, I actually performed it live at an open mic. The support was so overwhelming that I knew I had to do something with it. Go big or go home right? So when I saw that the Wattys were accepting poetry entries for the first time, I took it as a sign to go for it. Although I didn't win a Watty, when I got the email from Wattpad saying I had made it onto the Longlist, I couldn't help but cry. Still high on the euphoria of my victory, I began reading the comments that people left. I was left speechless by all the love that was being sent my way. It's because of people like them that I felt empowered enough to share my poem on my Facebook account and tell the story behind it, I feat I had previously been too ashamed to do. I spent an hour walking around aimlessly through the city, trying to process all the goodness I had experienced today. I think I can sum it up by saying this: This is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you everyone, I love you.
