Hi everyone.
I'm looking for feedback on the TONE appropriateness of my TV episodic comedy scripts for "The Breaks". It's essentially "Entourage" on a surfboard and in the 5 years that have passed since this story began to get flushed out, the landscape for whats acceptable and appropriate has changed dramatically. With the pitch "Entourage" on a surfboard, I'm sure you can guess the brow level of the project; fun, sexy, light-hearted and with ample sexual and gender stereotypes (of both genders - notice I didn't say 'All' - see how complicated this is?) all of which were originally written for comedic value. Now, in the Hollywood and professional world of today, these themes may be far less appealing and I'd like to have the community help me take a temperature of the tone of my script. Are we too far into the sexism boundary box? Specifically in Episode 2, is the 'gay' joke off-color?
I'm genuinely curious what the community has to say and I aim to utilize the feedback to progress the story and characters into a topically appropriate place. Many thanks in advance.
The Breaks - Pilot
https://www.wattpad.com/story/179933528-the-breaks-pilot
The Breaks - The Deal
https://www.wattpad.com/700983846-the-breaks-episode-2-episode-2-the-deal
Sporty and Sexy. “The Breaks” is focused on a group of athletes rising through the ranks of the professional surfing world. They struggle with relationships, personal injuries and rival competition as well as the competitive nature of sponsored surf and the juxtaposition between life in the spotlight and life in the waves.
The first season chronicles Tyler Byrd's adventures as he returns to the sponsored world of surfing after a sudden absence following his father's death 4 years ago. At the forefront of the first few episodes is the conflict between Tyler's potential sponsor "Bob's Longboards" and their decision to not sign the promising surfer.
A competing "corporate" sponsor, "360 Threads" snatches Tyler up.
