Zane

I'm a kid from a loving family, it could be rough, but it could be good. we fought a lot, but there was times to where I could only think of how much I love my family. I don't know why I would want to hurt anybody? But i do
          so much and its like everyday I have these thoughts
          it could be anybody, myself, any school, kids who have troubled me
          I dont want to hurt anybody, but theres some I want gone?
          Its bad, but i always watch videos of others being hurt and think of myself from the victim or defendants standpoint, and i like it?
          I imagine how it would be to stab or shoot that person, and I imagine what it would be like to be shot or stabbed.  and I enjoy it?
          I imagine what it'd be like to be kidnapped and hurt, or whatd it be like to kidnap someone
          i've imagined what it'd be like to go to a school and pull out a gun
          i've experience fear at a school due to lock down situations, so i dont think a bout that side to often haha
          when I type out my thoughts, i realize how bad my behavior and thoughts are
          these thoughts are destructive, huh?
          maybe i do need therapy again
          it didnt help last time so i dont know
          it scares me
          i want everybody dead
          i wonder what really does happen when you die
          i believe in no heaven or hell
          fuck
          i should go cut myself already dude
          im sorry

my skin is so soft, I'm too good for anyone.
          You're lucky if I talk to you, unless you talk to me first, then thank you, unless you're mean. Then, fuck you

I'm so glad I didnt unslay myself yesterday so I could buy bathtime crayola markers to pizzazz up my bathtime now

im trying to grow my hair out again so I'ma use coconut oil :)

i'll be having a good day and then remember that techno's gone

i'm sorry i hate to post about him but i really have no where else to speak of the audacity of this fucking dude. It's crazy how i ignored the  signs that were obvi there dude omfg
          anyways, i wanna see my bf i miss him again- well thats everytimes hes home or were not talking lmao
          i hope hes ok- i havent been able to talk to him for a few days and he might be moving soon ToT

oohhh myy gooddd
          i finally get to watch manly  hehehe i miss his voice hes my fave youtuber <<3 mwah mwah

bro istg im gonna kill myself today fracking sucks (can't say swear words on the school account <3 ) Nothing is going right
          i started the thing that proves im not male so im dysphoric,
          my brother pissed me off this morning,
          i don't want to talk to or see my neighbors but im also jealous of her for her weight loss
          how did she do it so fast?? I know she got surgery but still
          i wish i could get surgery man
          i'd get rid of all this extra fat
          fucking hell
          i wish  didnt have this damn eating disorder
          maybe then life would be easier
          im not sure
          everything is making me angry today
          and ive been on the verge of crying constantly
          I don't know what to do
          i want to see and talk to jax but at the same time i dont want to talk to anyone or do anything
          im stuck man
          honestly
          at least ive found a new hyper fixation lmao
          as you can tell by my profile picture
          my ex just announced publicly that he misses me
          he doesn't
          he just misses the fact that no one will stay his toxic ass LMAO
          I don't think him and his bf are together anymore thankfully
          his bf was only mean to me because him and my ex were together, and he probably told him everything and sure i have my faults but he acts as if he did nothing wrong?? i can't take this dude seriously
          i really hope he did break up with him because his boyfriend is not a bad person, i would know because ive talked to him, it only started once he broke up with me
          bro i wish i had taken the initiative to break it off
          i think id feel way better than i do now but i am happy i dont have to talk to him anymore
          im not sure man
          i hope he learns that hes what's wrong with most of his relationships
          lmao
          i hope he dies, that's all i really hope for anymore

I'm back from your mum's house. Her cookies are delicious :)

I'm at your moms house