Zay

r you here?

I think it's time to write again :)

You guys are the best thing that could've happened to me, and I'm sincerely sorry for what I plan to do. Really. I love you guys :)

Hello again guys, this is Zay, or also known as datgirlgmer. First off, I would like to say a happy new year to all of my followers, and that I'm glad you've decided to stay around with me and watch me suck at terrible writing. I'll be crossing my fingers hoping that 2016 won't be as bad as 2015, and that's what I'm going to talk about now. 2015 wasn't my cup of tea to begin with, for I was the vague ass person who went a little insane for someone. I didn't really update my books or my youtube channel since I was following blindly to do something I wasn't enjoying, despite all the warnings or advices given by my friends and family. And ever since I've lost that particular person, I've been updating since for this is what I always wanted to do. Draw and Write. But lately I've been feeling depressed, reconsidering my life and what I was doing. I'm a very competitive person, and I've always considered myself the best as things. And if I see others better than me, I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy towards them. No matter how hard I tried not to, my terrible personality drags my emotions along, causing me to hate myself entirely. How I looked, how I acted, what I said.. I was terrified of being judged. Was it because of how I looked externally? I wasn't sure. I had mood swings, ups and downs. One day depressed and the next thing happy and motivated. I didn't understand at all. And so I started having art and writer's block now. I don't know where this might lead me, to insanity? To a better understanding of myself? I don't know. So, I just want to tell you that I might a little break from all of these, reconsidering the shit I've gone through. I'll update definitely, but it'll be extra slow and together with my channel, school, homework, co-curricular activities, exam, tests, revision, more homework. So I appreciate if you understand this. I'm glad if you do, and.. I'm sorry for failing you guys in a simple job I just have to do to entertain you guys... Writing.

Merry Christmas Everyone! I'll be posting soon, for now let's sip our cups of hot cocoa and relax :)

That's weird.. An author Friend of mine can't be found when I tapped her account.. What does that mean? Does it mean she has left?!?!

I feel the writer's block coming back to my mind. .. Sigh...

Yesterday, I've watched Markiplier's react to 8 Million Subscribers, and I was really touched by how Mark reacted. I've cried with him, and I've shared that moment together with him. And, he was the first YouTuber that really wanted to connect with his subscribers. He continued to cry, because he couldn't. 8 million was too much for him to talk to... He couldn't keep up. And I appreciated his efforts for trying, and he said how his dad would be really proud of him if he was still alive. Markiplier deserves to be where he is today.

People hate it when we ship you tubers with you tubers. I get that it's gross, but it's not like we're pushing their heads and forcing them to kiss. Shipping them is just for fun, they are people who takes the ship too much and I understand that. But the rest of us who are just making fun of the ship can't be forced to not just because of the people who starts screaming at their other partner to leave them...

I know Felix doesn't really like shipping or stuffs that involves gay or bisexual stuffs... I respect that a lot. :((