Zer0Username

@fl0wary I am okay.  I promise.  I had a migraine for a few days, so I couldn't really read.  I was listening to podcasts.  Thank you for caring so much.  I definitely missed you too!  

@Zer0Username girl you had me worried ngl, I was like "..what ze fuk?IS MA BABY IN TRUBLE" had me checking ur profile every two hours AT NIGHT bcz its morning for you

@senorita_haitani Thank you!  I've been slightly unnerved all week due to things going too smoothly (knocks on wood).  When happiness makes you slightly paranoid, lol ...

@Svlentfrll Thank you!  I think it's pretty too. It may have originally been a Pinterest pic.  No idea.foe sure though; I found it saved on my phone.  

Uhhhhh yeah ???? I just think your pfp is pretty TvT 

@Svlentfrll ??? Are you referring to me dragging Mitsuya in some books?  He's a certified pretty boy and talented to boot. He's just not my type, but I think that pic of him is peak.  

@fl0wary Hahahaha.  I will.  I'm tired but my body is kinda strung out.  I may have consumed caffeine after I got home.  It's a quick fix (band-aid) to perk up after passing out, but then it takes a while to come down.  It legitimately made me crabby earlier.  Now I am just kinda hanging out and waiting for it to fade.  I did it to myself.  

@Zer0Username I’m so sorry your body put you through all of that. Passing out and needing ice packs just to stay awake sounds terrifying. I’m really relieved the nurses took good care of you this time, and I’m so glad your blood levels are finally moving in the right direction, even if you’ve still got a long road ahead. Please don’t push yourself today you’ve been through enough. 
            
            I’m really proud of you for getting through it, and I hope you’re able to get some well-deserved rest. Sending you the biggest hug and lots of kisses *mwah mwah mwah* <333
            
            AND REACH OUT IF YOU FEEL UNWELL OR ILL FIND YOU

@fl0wary I half passed out.  They had to put ice packs under my neck to keep me awake.  They did the infusion with me lying down.  There was an order for another one next week, but even the nurse said to schedule it further out since it's so hard on me.  I've got the next one on the 31st.  
            
            At least my blood work showed improvement.  I'm still low enough that I will have issues, but I'm not in the critical range.  My blood went from a 6.9 to 10.9 and it is still that low.  I didn't have enough blood to maintain my blood pressure.  I still have some issues with it, but it's improving.  I was bad bad.  
            
            The location was better and the nurses actually checked in on me.  It would have been fine if my body behaved but it's always a crap shoot.  Sometimes I am fine and other times I take an unwanted nap.  It is what it is, but hey at least I warned them.  

@vanj0a No problem ☺️

@Zer0Username ill let ya know and thanks again!!!!

@vanj0a Let me know when you want more suggestions and I will go through my Bonten and just generally good TR books.

@Zer0Username Did they switch it over to exclusively the social feed?  It used to appear in my notifications too.

They are apearing in the social feed.

@fl0wary Absolutely.  Some moments just stick with you and really stay in your subconscious affecting your psyche.  It would help if we had counselors in school, but they don't have the funding for that anymore. 
            
            I almost did ketamine treatments to help with that sort of stuff but the leafy greens ended up helping me.  I had a lot of repressed memories that were causing me to panic and have nightmares.  I had to get myself in a state that I could let down my guard and relax.  I would start remembering a memory at a time and it would be like pulling a thread in a ball of yarn.  Eventually I pulled enough threads that my brain essentially threw up a bunch of my  missing memories.  It was highly unpleasant and disorienting at the moment, but my general anxiety has gone way down.  
            
            Trauma causes you to cut off memories but you don't completely forget them.  You compartmentalize them and put them where you can't access them.  It's over time that the trauma response really starts to cause an issue. It does its job at the moment, but years later it affects the subconscious a lot.  I talked to my psych about it. It's apparently more common in people that had trauma before the age of 8.  Adults who haven't had trauma aren't as likely to dissociate during a major event.  People who have had that trauma are more likely to dissociate because it's essentially a learned survival skill.  Wild stuff.

@fl0wary Lol. I have to laugh a bit because I relate.  I'm the only female grandchild by blood and my youngest uncle married a woman with three kids (two girls).  They were always jealous, lying, blaming me for stuff and genuinely throwing me under the bus. 
            
            I also appreciate your honesty about hating grandma.  My mom's mom was one of the worst human beings I have ever met (extreme narcissist who was obsessed with social status).  She would hit me as a kid for putting my elbows on the table and verbally abuse me just for breathing too loudly.  The only time I ever liked her was when she got dementia and became a whole new person.  She actually became a decent human being instead of a demon.  

@Zer0Username Girl Im 19, I honestly valued ppl’s feelings since my youngest age dince I had been so intrested by psychology. I know that the slightest incident in someone’s life might change lot of things if it doesn’t get treated,and by treated I mean if they keep it in. Talking helps,loving and trusting too,but you can’t really allow yourself such luxury with anyone or too often. I had a friend that was like crazy talented in a sport (swimming)and she got second in a compition, she said that she was happy about it and when she got home and told her parents the first thing her father said was ‘thats it’.
            
            It might look like it’s a normal thing but it’s not,because when you remember such thing when you’re 29 that happened when you were 12, that just shows that it effected you deeply. A single word can stuck to someone when it comes from someone close more than an actual physical trauma.

@fl0wary I think the pharmacy is cursed at this point.  They only received 1 out of 3 of the prescriptions that my Dr sent them.  They were all sent electronically at the same time.  I have to fight with them again tomorrow.  

That must have been so annoying 

@Zer0Username ohh godd!! I hope you get well soon. And yeah we do have heatwaves wear I live and I was feeling dizzy the whole past month. But my tumbler keeps reminding me to drink water cause I don't drink water so much. I drink like 2 glass of water a day. That's why I was feeling dizzy and I went on a long trip, so... I was not eating too much cause of the weather and weakness. After coming home, I fell sick for 1 week. And my voice!? It was like Sanzu on his drugs!! But then also I wrote some chapters!! 
            
            Bye for noww, STAYYY HEALTHYYY!!
            
            ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ֶָ֢⊹

@starry_loop Lol, my favorite appropriate nickname for Little Miss is Little Shit.  She's earned that nickname like nothing else.  She's always into something.  I know my mom loved and preferred one of our previous cats more than me.  We had quite the rivalry growing up and fighting for my mom's attention.  We had a truce as he got older and I went to college.  When I came back he was a very old man cat (he lived to 23.5 years old!) and just wanted to be held all the time.  We were buddies at the end.  He would hold me ransom and take 2 hour naps on my lap.  
            
            You can read up thread... My health has been bad.  I've been getting infusions because I needed a blood transfusion but didn't get it in time.  It's been a whole mess.  The process isn't fun... It's pretty stressful on my body, but the end result has me feeling a lot more human (as opposed to feeling like something scraped on the side of the road).
            
            How have you been?  Are you having a heatwave where you live?  

@Zer0Username ohhhhh my bbg!! I also have cats, but the name your mother gave was hilarious. Btw, my mom loves my cat more than her own monster like kids. I know that the property will definitely go to my cats!! Btw, how are you doin'? taking good care of your health?? I was just worried about you, so I just came here to send a massage but than I saw this and was interested to know more!! I really wanted to ask you how u are!!!? ֶָ֢⊹ ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

@Zer0username that's a relief՞. .՞

@starry_loop yes, it was good.  You did particularly well with the new character.

@Zer0username did you enjoyed!?⋆˚࿔