abbiexnormal

@parishsp Thanks for the welcome :) I did mean to leave a comment when I finished reading your story, but I got called away from the computer.  I really liked it.  The storyline is very original and I liked how you jumped right into all the action.  My only recommendation is to add some more action or some mention of the other world, even if it's just hinting at it, because you start out with it, mention she had a dream about it, and then we're stuck in three chapters of just normal life and kind of left wondering if maybe it was just a dream and the rest of the story is going to be about Jo going to college.  I really do like it though, you definitely have me wondering what's going to happen next, especially with Griffin and Dave and Brett.  They seem fishy to me :) The cliffhanger at the end killed me because that was the second one in a row I'd come across in a story.  I need to know how these things end! Haha, I guess I'll just have to learn how to be patient.  Thanks again for the welcome and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more :)

parishsp

@abbiexnormal - you aren't the first to mention the need for some
          mention in the other chapters, so I am definitely going to try, but want to be sneaky about it, you know? haha :) just have to look over all my options. but, everything I mentioned plays a part in the story, I just think I might need to make it a bit more obvious instead of leaving the reader to think I wrote a story about college life & not an alternate universe. haha. thanks so much for your input!

abbiexnormal

@parishsp Thanks for the welcome :) I did mean to leave a comment when I finished reading your story, but I got called away from the computer.  I really liked it.  The storyline is very original and I liked how you jumped right into all the action.  My only recommendation is to add some more action or some mention of the other world, even if it's just hinting at it, because you start out with it, mention she had a dream about it, and then we're stuck in three chapters of just normal life and kind of left wondering if maybe it was just a dream and the rest of the story is going to be about Jo going to college.  I really do like it though, you definitely have me wondering what's going to happen next, especially with Griffin and Dave and Brett.  They seem fishy to me :) The cliffhanger at the end killed me because that was the second one in a row I'd come across in a story.  I need to know how these things end! Haha, I guess I'll just have to learn how to be patient.  Thanks again for the welcome and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more :)