• Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. •

• It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. •

• Here to serve.... the cat overlord. • 

• Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words. •

• Recovering ice cream addict.•

• If you can't convince them, confuse them. •

• You're a 10, on the pH scale... Cuz you're basic. •

• I'm not smart. I just wear glasses. • 

• I'm just having an allergic reaction to the universe. •

• Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk. •

• It's very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously. •

• Save water, drink beer. •

• Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands. •

• I will go into survival mode if tickled. •

• Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a sexy billionaire. •

• My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart. •

• I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them. •

• I only rap caucasionally. •

• Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper. •

• Don't get a man, get a dog... They are loyal and they die sooner. •

•Exercise, ex..er..cise, ex...ar..cise, eggs are sides, for BACON! •

• My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. •

• I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice. •