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Brett Kavanaugh is on the supreme court.
I heard the news by accident, touching the dial on the radio to look for music. I told him to pull over. He held my shoulders, hands ready to hold back my hair as I tried not to vomit, because they knew. Every single fucking one of those senators knew what happened. There is not one piece of evidence that goes against Dr. Ford's testimonial. What hit me the hardest, thought, was when she talked about the way the brain sometimes locks up memories, forces neurons to die, so that you literally can't remember.
I know what that's like.
I thought that she would win, and I would have that to comfort me as I walk down the hallways of my school, trying to ignore the stares landed on my chest. As I debate with the boys around me, and my goal is for someone to take me seriously instead of laughing me off like I'm some inside joke, telling me that I shouldn't worry about it, as if it's there fucking place to decide. As I walk through the streets of my city with my backpack slung over one shoulder so no one can grab me by it. Internally reviewing the kickboxing lessons I took a year ago in case I have to use them.
I lost a lot of faith in our government today. This is real. Wake up.