author8_8loves

you

OKAY HI
          phasmo and stardust chapters today , but phasmo now, and stardust later ... i'm sleepy. cannot write no more. gn, mwah <3

emo ahh community post bc ive had a horrible trip out of town to visit my parents TT
          wrote this while listening to 'drag path' by top in the middle of LAX lmao
          
          "drag path, but it's me trying to disconnect from my toxic mother. drag path, but it's me trying to pull myself out of an ocean of grief over a parental relationship i'll never have again. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. five stages and i've cleared through them over the years. for so long i was angry, now, i sit here in the middle of depression and acceptance, wondering if there's a world that i'm loved without condition. i hate feeling like a little kid staring into the abyss of the night sky, wondering if the stars can hear me, see me when she never has. drag path, but it's me finally getting the courage to say the many words i've always wanted to say. i don't need her to finally see me, or hear me. I need to see ME and trust myself to be dragged along in the gravel and prove i left on purpose."
          
          im scared to finally do what a small part of me has wanted to do for years. i will be risking a lot. health insurance, phone line, contact w my nephew, potentially my brother (the only family i have left) i could and probably will lose all of that when i finally cut contact. but i think i'm going to start putting in the work so i can truly live without them in the next few months. i can't imagine going to see them again for the holidays. 
          i'll come back to this post again someday and i hope i'll be doing better then! for now .. deep breaths, maybe cry it out lol, hug my friends a little tighter
          
          if you're seeing this, i love you and you are not alone. fear doesn't make you weak. <3

Hello!! Just wanted to say…
          
          Someone told me that this life is ours to choose, 
          It’s okay to make mistakes :)
          No one is handing you some magic keys or a book with all the rules,
          Dont let them dress you up in lies because you are amazing!
          Just throw your head back and spit in the wind,
          Let the walls crack cos it lets the light in :)
          If they drag you through hell, 
          just know that they can’t tell you to change because you are who you are and nothing else! (And I love you regardless)
          When it’s stormy out,
          Run in the rain!
          Put your sword down and dive right into the pain,
          Stay unfiltered and LOUD because you are proud to be who you are!!
          Showing people that you love yourself is the bravest thing you can do and even if you don’t show it, pls still make sure to love yourself because if you don’t, it makes it harder to love other people too and nobody wants that.
          
          SO do me a favour and LOVE YOURSELF!! and remind all of your friends to love themselves too!! (And that you love them just as much <3)
          
          THIS IS YOUR WEEKLY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED AND I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! MWAH! (^3^) <333
          
          
          love hugs and kisses from
          emmywemmykpopstan!!! <33

STARDUST update is going to be coming out late! perhaps monday?
          i'll be out for the weekend camping and I'm not done with the chp yet TT 
          (PHASMO will probably be out late as well bc i will be traveling out of town that wednesday! and thank you for all the love for phasmo, it makes me v joys!)
          
          if more ppl would check out stardust i would be even more joys :)
          love you all!! be safe, mwah <3

Breaking news! This just in tonight!
          
          
           u r a bully :( a huge meanie :( :( :(

ahhhhhhhhjskxnsx
          interviews can be so scary, i've done like a billion lately (bc im still unemployed atp TT) but i had an interview today that i feel kind of good about! 
          fingers crossed that i hear back monday, manifest for me yall <3

WEEKLY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE AMAZING!!
          
          I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY TODAY!!
          
          DONT EVER STOP LOVING YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL GIRL!! <3
          
          MWAH <3

U mother fucked tried drowning me

Imma bully you