Samantha Radaza

"You have your expectations of me... and our relationship. You're expecting the worst from me. But then each time you prove to yourself otherwise, natatakot ka. You're always on a flight mode." 
          
          "You can't blame me—" 
          
          "Oh, believe me! I'm not blaming you at all!" 
          
          "—because honesty without tact is cruelty."
          
          I froze. 
          
          "When did I cradle you with glitters and rainbows, Peia?" I mumbled breathlessly. 
          
          Iniexpress ko nga palagi ang hinanakit at tampo ko sa kaniya. Hindi sa paninigaw o sa paraang bayolente pero sinasabi ko. Ano ba ang gusto niya? Ang magbatuhan kami ng maaanghang na salita katulad ng ginagawa niya? Kung papatulan ko sa ganiyang paraan, para ko na ring sinusunog ang tanging tulay na kumukonekta sa amin! She loves self-sabotaging things, which I realize now, at gusto niya na gawin ko rin?! 
          
          I'm just... I'm doing my best... 
          
          I heard her sniff. 
          
          "You don't snap. Even when I'm being unreasonable, sa halip ay inaako mo at ikaw pa ang hihingi ng paumanhin. Hindi ka naman daw ganiyan, sabi ni Helen. You are an ass, kaya mas nakakaparanoid dahil pakiramdam ko may sadya ka talaga kaya ganito... 
          
          "Anong kailangan mo pa mula sa akin? Sex? Thrill?" 
          
          "Not my words, for sure. Oh, you don't even trust my words," I scoffed. 
          
          "Pakiramdam ko, natithrill ka lang, eh. Sanay ka sa atensiyon na binibigay ng lahat sa'yo and here comes Peia who rejects you upfront. Kaya ganito ka ka-effort..." 
          
          Pinalis ko kaagad ang luhang naglandas sa gilid ng aking mata. Tangina. Nakailang iyak na ako sa babaeng 'to, ah? Nakakalalaki na, ah?
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 20 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412092

"Hoy, dahan-dahan!" Reklamo niya dahil sa bilis ng takbo namin. 
          
          Natawa ako. 
          
          I decided to just scoop her in one arm which made her squeal and frantically wrap her arms around my neck tightly. 
          
          "Shh. It's late!" 
          
          Napa-aray ako nang hampasin nito ang aking braso. My sharp eyes locked with her wide ones. She waved her hands animatedly. 
          
          "Tangina nito! Bakit ka ba biglang nambubuhat?!" 
          
          "Para hindi ka na tumakbo! Ang sakit mong manghampas..." Napanguso ako saka muling tumakbo, mas maingat na ngayon. 
          
          "Bakit ba kasi dito? Akala ko sa airport tayo didiretso?" 
          
          Finally. Nakarating din. 
          
          Peia's eyes wandered around our hangar. Her face projected nothing but wonder now. 
          
          "Wow... ang dami..." she murmured in awe. 
          
          "Ang daming mga mata doon. Saka, para maiba naman na ang masakyan mo." 
          
          "Pasikat," she hissed with less conviction, still a bit distracted. "Hindi naman ako maarte! Pwede nga na mag-kotse nalang tayo!"
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 19 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412079 

"Sinabi ko na, diba?! Gusto ko si Eric! Ibigay mo siya sa akin! Bakit mo ako dinala na naman dito?! Saan mo na naman pinapunta ang asawa ko! Walang hiya ka talaga Peia! Pauwiin mo siya!" 
          
          Kumabog ang dibdib ko nang marinig ang binanggit niya na pangalan. 
          
          "Hindi ako baliw! Tangina mo! Si Eric ang kailangan ko, hindi ikaw!" Then she started wailing. 
          
          I gasped. 
          
          Hinarap ko si Peia at niyakap. I feel extra protective of her now, I didn't know her mother would attack her like that! Pulang pula ang pisngi nito dahil sa lakas ng sampal. 
          
          "Are you okay?" I whispered worriedly. 
          
          She only nodded weakly. 
          
          Bahagya niya akong tinulak. I checked the nurses at nang siguradong hindi makakawala ang ina niya ay dahan dahan ko siyang pinakawalan. 
          
          "Ma..." 
          
          "Si Eric ang gusto ko! Bakit ayaw mo siyang pauwiin?! Pinalayas mo na naman, 'e pinuntahan na nga ako!" 
          
          "Mama, hindi na uuwi si-" 
          
          Her mom's eyes widened. Her lips thinned in so much rage. Lalo itong nanggalaiti. 
          
          "Kasi hindi ka pumapayag! Mahal ako no'n! Sinabi niya! Gumagawa ka kasi ng kwento!" 
          
          "Mama naman! Hindi ka na nga mahal ni Papa! Bakit ba hindi mo maintindihan?!" 
          
          My lips parted when she suddenly exploded, crying really hard now. I immediately rubbed her back gently. Fuck, I don't know what to do... 
          
          "Ma... Tama na... Magaling k-ka na, eh... Ang tagal mo na kaming kasama ulit, eh... Gumaling ka na nga p-pero..."
          
          Nahabag ako nang lalong humagulhol si Peia. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling huwag siyang ikulong sa mga bisig ko. 
          
          "Eric... Eric, hon... Huwag mo akong iwan please... D-Dito nalang kayo. Okay lang... Basta dito ka lang..." binubulong ng mama niya sa hangin. Tila ba'y binabalik siya sa isang eksena sa nakaraan.
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 18 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448426286

"Brokenhearted ka raw, sabi ng kuya mo?" 
          
          I froze. 
          
          Shit. Napakadaldal naman. 
          
          "Is this about that Cassiopeia girl I met last time?" 
          
          May maitatago pa ba ako sa kaniya? 
          
          "Anything ate can help you with?" Her gentle voice filled the four chambers of my heart as if she was trying to heal each corner. 
          
          I sighed then slowly leaned on her shoulder. I felt her kiss the top of my head. 
          
          "I can handle it, ate. She's difficult but... mas difficult ka," I jest. 
          
          "Ay..." 
          
          Natawa ako nang malakas nang itulak niya ang ulo ko. Medyo nahilo ako sa lakas no'n, ah?
          
          "Joke lang!" 
          
          Umiling siya, nagpipigil ng tawa. 
          
          My smile faded when she carefully touched my cheek. Marahan niyang pinasadhan ng tingin ang buong mukha ko. 
          
          "Mas kilala mo ang sarili mo, Viau. Mas kabisado mo ang nararamdaman mo. Kung kaya mo pang magpatuloy kahit nasasaktan ka na, choice mo iyan. And I must say, ang brave mo. Sobra. Pero lahat tayo, nauubos. At kapag nangyari iyon sayo, huwag kang magdalawang isip na lumapit kay ate, huh?"
          
          This is the woman who raised me. Grabe, 'no? Kaya kayang-kaya ko kahit ilang rejections pa, Peia. Dahil alam ko na kung bumagsak man ako, palalakasin ulit ako ng ate ko. 
          
          Kaya ko pa.
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 17 is now up.
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448425808 

She giggled, taking my camera from the bedside table, then she gave it to me. I looked at her in confusion. 
          
          "Use it." 
          
          Kumunot ang noo ko. Slightly irritated at her suggestion. 
          
          "I'm not gonna record us, Peia! I will not risk it!" Mariin na tingin ang iginawad ko sa kaniya. 
          
          She was unfazed. Natawa pa nga. 
          
          "Hindi ko naman sinabing mag-record ka!" Aniya. "Hindi ba, boudoir photographer ka? Kuhanan mo ako!" 
          
          What... 
          
          I froze. 
          
          Kumabog ang aking dibdib sa hindi malamang dahilan. 
          
          I feel like she's testing me. I'm confused. She looks excited and I badly want to please her. 
          
          But... she wants me to take her portraits? Erotic portraits to be exact!
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 16 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448424803
          
          *I'm back! Please read this chapter responsibly. Warning: r-18.

happy valentine's day, everyone! 

Happy new year! To more novels to finish this 2026! Thank you for being with me. I love you all! <333 

merry christmasss! <333 

Happy 5k reads, WITC! Maraming salamat po!
          
          Read the full novel here:
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/332822951

Hey! I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who took time reading this novel of mine. The second installment of BMS, Warmth in the Cold has officially ended. Thank you for loving Drex and Laya!
          
          I'm so proud of myself for this. One of my goals this year has been achieved! I'm so overwhelmed.
          
          I thank God for the abundant creative juices, for igniting that fire again, and I dedicate this novel to those who waited for Drex and Laya patiently. Thank you so much, blackroses!
          
          Writing Warmth in the Cold comforted me through my physical health challenges. I hope this story brings you warmth, too.
          
          Today is a beautiful day.
          
          I hope one day, we may all find a love so gentle and kind. The one that keeps us safe and protected from the ruthlessness of this world. I hope one day we will be like Drex who found a purpose... a reason to continue living. I hope one day we will be like Laya who despite all the ugliness and harshness life has thrown at her, she never gave up. I hope one day, we can all finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel, and always remember that there's always warm days ahead of every cold nights. I'll be rooting for you all!
          
          Lastly, I also want to insert Emman's be a little kind because it's free.
          
          Thank you!
          
          - Samantha Radaza
          
          Read the full novel here:
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/332822951