awsmbi

"I always thought of myself as a small island. I don't need anyone. I cannot need anyone. Sounds terrible, huh? But it's actually comforting for me na may ability ako na ganiyan."
          
          It feels like a superpower, really. 
          
          "I feel untouchable. Like I've gone through the worst of hurt and pain and abandonment on my own, that no one else can break me through that anymore. Oh, boy, I was so wrong." 
          
          Peia exists. 
          
          Specially made for me as if she's the missing puzzle piece. 
          
          "I made space for her. Built a room in my heart, a special chamber. In my mind, a special recess. Let her occupy corners I made sure were fenced with rigid walls. Only to break it myself just to let her in. Welcomed her, only to allow tornadoes to tour around and destruct." 
          
          I shook my head. Very slowly. 
          
          "Viau..." 
          
          My eyes fluttered under the cloak of my darkness. Heart heavy, could drop anytime, shatter... And I don't even have the swiftness in me to even try to catch before it hits the floor. 
          
          "I thought I was steady enough now to stay... To let Peia take a hold of... me. But the reality check was sobering. I guess, her dispassionate towards me has been taking a toll. It was too late for me to do the last save. Or, maybe this is my last save. For myself." Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga. 
          
          "I felt my edges unravel again, the gradual untightening of that forbidden room of my traumas that were swept under the rug. She actually took the broom and fanned all those sand away. Let it go without letting me brace for the knee-jerking sore eyes."
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love In A Photograph chapter 22 is now up! 
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412111

Pabagsak akong sumandal sa sandalan, slouching. 
          
          "I get it. She's still learning in accepting these big things... grand gestures... this relationship. That what we have is getting real. I'm patient, but her constant repulsion hurts me too. Hindi naman ako manhid, eh. I can't keep on pretending it doesn't hurt," I ranted weakly. "I tried to be cool about it. Ilang beses kong pinalagpas ang lahat ng sakit at tarak sa dibdib at pagkatao ko, kahit na pakiramdam ko ang liit liit ko sa paningin niya. Okay na nga sa akin kahit ano lang ang kaya niyang ibigay, ako na ang bahalang magpalaki no'n." I realize what a big pushover I have been. "In the end, I realized nothing will ever be enough if the only way to get what you are supposed to deserve is to beg." 
          
          Hindi na nakaimik pa ang dalawa. I didn't even bother throwing a glance at them. Naubusan yata ako ng energy just from venting out na kahit ang pag-angat ng tingin ay lalo ko pang ikalalanta
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love In A Photographe Chapter 21 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412102

Celebrating Rest in Medellin's 600k milestone!
          
          Maraming salamat po sa inyong pagbasa at suporta! <333
          
          Read the full novel here:
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/295115938
          
          To save her family’s hospital, Astrid agrees to marry the landowner’s son—only to realize he’s her own client, Ivan, a man still deeply in love with his late girlfriend. And she would know… she’s his therapist.

"You have your expectations of me... and our relationship. You're expecting the worst from me. But then each time you prove to yourself otherwise, natatakot ka. You're always on a flight mode." 
          
          "You can't blame me—" 
          
          "Oh, believe me! I'm not blaming you at all!" 
          
          "—because honesty without tact is cruelty."
          
          I froze. 
          
          "When did I cradle you with glitters and rainbows, Peia?" I mumbled breathlessly. 
          
          Iniexpress ko nga palagi ang hinanakit at tampo ko sa kaniya. Hindi sa paninigaw o sa paraang bayolente pero sinasabi ko. Ano ba ang gusto niya? Ang magbatuhan kami ng maaanghang na salita katulad ng ginagawa niya? Kung papatulan ko sa ganiyang paraan, para ko na ring sinusunog ang tanging tulay na kumukonekta sa amin! She loves self-sabotaging things, which I realize now, at gusto niya na gawin ko rin?! 
          
          I'm just... I'm doing my best... 
          
          I heard her sniff. 
          
          "You don't snap. Even when I'm being unreasonable, sa halip ay inaako mo at ikaw pa ang hihingi ng paumanhin. Hindi ka naman daw ganiyan, sabi ni Helen. You are an ass, kaya mas nakakaparanoid dahil pakiramdam ko may sadya ka talaga kaya ganito... 
          
          "Anong kailangan mo pa mula sa akin? Sex? Thrill?" 
          
          "Not my words, for sure. Oh, you don't even trust my words," I scoffed. 
          
          "Pakiramdam ko, natithrill ka lang, eh. Sanay ka sa atensiyon na binibigay ng lahat sa'yo and here comes Peia who rejects you upfront. Kaya ganito ka ka-effort..." 
          
          Pinalis ko kaagad ang luhang naglandas sa gilid ng aking mata. Tangina. Nakailang iyak na ako sa babaeng 'to, ah? Nakakalalaki na, ah?
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 20 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412092

"Hoy, dahan-dahan!" Reklamo niya dahil sa bilis ng takbo namin. 
          
          Natawa ako. 
          
          I decided to just scoop her in one arm which made her squeal and frantically wrap her arms around my neck tightly. 
          
          "Shh. It's late!" 
          
          Napa-aray ako nang hampasin nito ang aking braso. My sharp eyes locked with her wide ones. She waved her hands animatedly. 
          
          "Tangina nito! Bakit ka ba biglang nambubuhat?!" 
          
          "Para hindi ka na tumakbo! Ang sakit mong manghampas..." Napanguso ako saka muling tumakbo, mas maingat na ngayon. 
          
          "Bakit ba kasi dito? Akala ko sa airport tayo didiretso?" 
          
          Finally. Nakarating din. 
          
          Peia's eyes wandered around our hangar. Her face projected nothing but wonder now. 
          
          "Wow... ang dami..." she murmured in awe. 
          
          "Ang daming mga mata doon. Saka, para maiba naman na ang masakyan mo." 
          
          "Pasikat," she hissed with less conviction, still a bit distracted. "Hindi naman ako maarte! Pwede nga na mag-kotse nalang tayo!"
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 19 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1493412079 

"Sinabi ko na, diba?! Gusto ko si Eric! Ibigay mo siya sa akin! Bakit mo ako dinala na naman dito?! Saan mo na naman pinapunta ang asawa ko! Walang hiya ka talaga Peia! Pauwiin mo siya!" 
          
          Kumabog ang dibdib ko nang marinig ang binanggit niya na pangalan. 
          
          "Hindi ako baliw! Tangina mo! Si Eric ang kailangan ko, hindi ikaw!" Then she started wailing. 
          
          I gasped. 
          
          Hinarap ko si Peia at niyakap. I feel extra protective of her now, I didn't know her mother would attack her like that! Pulang pula ang pisngi nito dahil sa lakas ng sampal. 
          
          "Are you okay?" I whispered worriedly. 
          
          She only nodded weakly. 
          
          Bahagya niya akong tinulak. I checked the nurses at nang siguradong hindi makakawala ang ina niya ay dahan dahan ko siyang pinakawalan. 
          
          "Ma..." 
          
          "Si Eric ang gusto ko! Bakit ayaw mo siyang pauwiin?! Pinalayas mo na naman, 'e pinuntahan na nga ako!" 
          
          "Mama, hindi na uuwi si-" 
          
          Her mom's eyes widened. Her lips thinned in so much rage. Lalo itong nanggalaiti. 
          
          "Kasi hindi ka pumapayag! Mahal ako no'n! Sinabi niya! Gumagawa ka kasi ng kwento!" 
          
          "Mama naman! Hindi ka na nga mahal ni Papa! Bakit ba hindi mo maintindihan?!" 
          
          My lips parted when she suddenly exploded, crying really hard now. I immediately rubbed her back gently. Fuck, I don't know what to do... 
          
          "Ma... Tama na... Magaling k-ka na, eh... Ang tagal mo na kaming kasama ulit, eh... Gumaling ka na nga p-pero..."
          
          Nahabag ako nang lalong humagulhol si Peia. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling huwag siyang ikulong sa mga bisig ko. 
          
          "Eric... Eric, hon... Huwag mo akong iwan please... D-Dito nalang kayo. Okay lang... Basta dito ka lang..." binubulong ng mama niya sa hangin. Tila ba'y binabalik siya sa isang eksena sa nakaraan.
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 18 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448426286

"Brokenhearted ka raw, sabi ng kuya mo?" 
          
          I froze. 
          
          Shit. Napakadaldal naman. 
          
          "Is this about that Cassiopeia girl I met last time?" 
          
          May maitatago pa ba ako sa kaniya? 
          
          "Anything ate can help you with?" Her gentle voice filled the four chambers of my heart as if she was trying to heal each corner. 
          
          I sighed then slowly leaned on her shoulder. I felt her kiss the top of my head. 
          
          "I can handle it, ate. She's difficult but... mas difficult ka," I jest. 
          
          "Ay..." 
          
          Natawa ako nang malakas nang itulak niya ang ulo ko. Medyo nahilo ako sa lakas no'n, ah?
          
          "Joke lang!" 
          
          Umiling siya, nagpipigil ng tawa. 
          
          My smile faded when she carefully touched my cheek. Marahan niyang pinasadhan ng tingin ang buong mukha ko. 
          
          "Mas kilala mo ang sarili mo, Viau. Mas kabisado mo ang nararamdaman mo. Kung kaya mo pang magpatuloy kahit nasasaktan ka na, choice mo iyan. And I must say, ang brave mo. Sobra. Pero lahat tayo, nauubos. At kapag nangyari iyon sayo, huwag kang magdalawang isip na lumapit kay ate, huh?"
          
          This is the woman who raised me. Grabe, 'no? Kaya kayang-kaya ko kahit ilang rejections pa, Peia. Dahil alam ko na kung bumagsak man ako, palalakasin ulit ako ng ate ko. 
          
          Kaya ko pa.
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 17 is now up.
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448425808 

She giggled, taking my camera from the bedside table, then she gave it to me. I looked at her in confusion. 
          
          "Use it." 
          
          Kumunot ang noo ko. Slightly irritated at her suggestion. 
          
          "I'm not gonna record us, Peia! I will not risk it!" Mariin na tingin ang iginawad ko sa kaniya. 
          
          She was unfazed. Natawa pa nga. 
          
          "Hindi ko naman sinabing mag-record ka!" Aniya. "Hindi ba, boudoir photographer ka? Kuhanan mo ako!" 
          
          What... 
          
          I froze. 
          
          Kumabog ang aking dibdib sa hindi malamang dahilan. 
          
          I feel like she's testing me. I'm confused. She looks excited and I badly want to please her. 
          
          But... she wants me to take her portraits? Erotic portraits to be exact!
          
          —
          
          Mercedez 4: Keeping This Love in a Photograph chapter 16 is now up!
          https://www.wattpad.com/1448424803
          
          *I'm back! Please read this chapter responsibly. Warning: r-18.

happy valentine's day, everyone! 

Happy new year! To more novels to finish this 2026! Thank you for being with me. I love you all! <333