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Hello, I recently read your book and i have some friendly criticism :)
First of all, the grammar is absolute shit. We can see this in the text when it says, “She rolled her eyes, handing me an extremely leng looking pastry.” Here, the writer uses the inappropriate colloquial british slang, “leng”, to show that the pastry looks good to the character. Perhaps writer uses this to show how this book was written by a nonce, it could also suggest that the pastry makes you orgasm.