I'm awkward.

No, not in that cute, endearing way like most cliche books describe it.

I'm awkward in the "Oh, wow she has a weird voice and talks too loud" sort of way.

In return, I'm quiet and unassuming until someone brings up Brenden Urie. Then I scream, "WHY CAN'T I HAVE HIS CHILDREN" at a vociferous decibel, even if the surrounding situation makes it highly improper and inappropriate. 

This happens often, unfortunately. 

I'm single, obviously. If you knew me you would never doubt that. (The closest to sex I've ever gotten was watching the sleepover scene from White Chicks whilst sitting next to my friend, Gary.) But I DON'T NEED NO MAN so I don't even care. 

I'm what one may call "Sarcastic," always making self deprecating jokes because it's better to have everyone laughing with you and at you than them laughing only at you behind your back.

I hope no one I know finds me on this. That would be embarrassing for all parties involved.