crmsnpen

Chapter 24 is out, guys!
          	You definitely get to comment! I want them!
          	Please :') 

crmsnpen

It was a huge argument. In my family. Mainly between my siblings. And it was huge.
          
          My pup first tried to stop them. He barked many times and then, he fell silent. He only watched everyone.
          
          When finally everything turned silent, I came out of my room. I so badly wanted to cry. I just touched my pup’s head and he began hugging me, licking my face like he wanted to make sure everything was alright. He followed me and when I came back, he again tried to hold my leg. Literally, tears welled up in my eyes.
          
          Today, he didn't even ask for food. He just waited silently.

SimoneStander

@crmsnpen oh that's good I'm glad you're ok 
            Yeah we just have to get passed those things 
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crmsnpen

@SimoneStander oh, I truly feel it how you had to manage in between what goes around you which is terrible. And yeah, I'm fine now. It has passed 
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SimoneStander

@crmsnpen aww 
            I can so relate to the whole family agreements 
            It's like they sometimes so  unfair towards me 
            I'm so sorry and I'm glad that your pup was there for you 
            How are you doing now 
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crmsnpen

The difference between our love ones and the strangers — for me — is that our loved ones were made to be our supporters bc the world is enough to hurt you. But now, we are telling our lovers the misery we live in, including our parents that hurt us.
          
          I understand they had a tough life but they must understand, that we too have our first time on this earth. We are not perfect. They too might have made some mistakes, right? Then why do they expect us to solve every issue like we were born with magic wands?
          
          Someday, I'll write to all parents —’please, understand your children’. I know they are concerned but concern isn't mentioning their mistakes over and over again which were long forgotten. Love doesn't keep a record of misdeeds.
          
          People talk about evil children abandoning their parents but nobody talks about parents which make their own children's life a living hell, and how they kill their own child with taunts. No support, no motivation, no help and yet, we are expected to touch a mountain peak.
          
          And they say, you're exaggerating. I'm sorry, I don't have a smooth life. I have so much to deal with and people wonder, why my writing bleeds sorrow.

_Seraphim_void_

@crmsnpen I would be the most happiest if that happens.
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crmsnpen

@_Seraphim_void_ thank you. Someday, I'll try to bring to back.
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_Seraphim_void_

 @crmsnpen I am glad you felt peace from my message and I really wanted to add that story to my list but then I got to know that you have deleted it. I don't know what was the reason behind deleting such a heart touching book but it will always have a special place in my heart no matter what happens.
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crmsnpen

On his birthday, he sent me the video of his niece. She's a toddler — the one who kept kissing me on the cheek on his birthday *in tears*.
          
          She wished him this year and told him that she loves him. Okay, that was cute. She's my favourite. Last time she gave me the video message in which she was following after her aunt, saying, “Ina.. kaa o? Jaldi aa jao.” (Her language is broken). And in the end, she got confused and practically begged me by folding her hands, “Ina please, aa jao please!” Gosh! That moment! I truly love her.
          
          And we both love her uncle. Lol! Couldn't help but say it. He shouldn't know that I write about him.

crmsnpen

I saw a dream and he was leaving. I've been restless since then. My longing for him has only increased. Idk what to do. I thought I was doing better but every time I see him, I'm crying behind his back and then in my bathroom. Today, I felt how “actually” good I was doing in tying to move on. And I wonder, can I really? He keeps telling me that it'll turn harder for me and I always waved it off, knowing that the heartbreak isn't a new thing in my life but whenever it's “him” I feel my heart trembling inside my chest.

crmsnpen

@L0stb00kmark279 oh, that's such a pretty .. thought. Sure. I also like to write about him :') 
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L0stb00kmark279

@crmsnpen  well the situation doesn't really make sense to me (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠) ....but the last lines do.mm everything does happen for a good reason and may not make sense in the present but will do in the future (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)well good luck and keep updating maybe someday you'll actually be together with him ;)\⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)⁠/ who knows ♥️♥️
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crmsnpen

@L0stb00kmark279 you know your this message made me go through my messages on the boards bc I forgot I wrote something like that and now I realize, I've been sharing about him but I thought I never did. My memory!
            
            And you're right, God could remove those feelings but I let them remain bc he is going to stay before my eyes. Forever. If I let God remove those feelings, seriously.. pyar nahi, kalank hai fir vo. And I didn't ask God for him, because.. that girl in his life is God's choice and I don't want to fight over what's not mine. I only chose to love him and continue to do that. Idk how you'd be understanding it but you see, in our lives, God is first and then everything is secondary. Even my feelings for him. I may give him right love but I was the wrong person to do it. Someone chosen by God for him will be a perfect match. Like you know, two pieces of a puzzle fit perfectly and no other piece can take that place or else the pattern will be awkward and less beautiful but never shine in its fullness, the way it was actually created to be. I know if God has set it up this way, it'd be perfect. Though now it's painful, later it'll make sense and I'll be thanking God. So, I remained silent even though I longed for him.
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crmsnpen

I didn't want him to know about my weakness that I'm getting anxious again. Yet, I found myself texting him that please pray for me. He popped up the next moment and asked me the whole matter. I didn't want to share yet I did, ending up with tears by the time I was done. He made me understand that everything's going to be alright. I laughed and wondered if I was being pathetic to him, that doesn't he grow weary of me? He said, No.
          
          But deep down I think, somewhere what stops me from doing stupid things is.. there smile. I didn't want to trouble them or I'd have done many things gladly. What stops me is the question; Is God going to like it? He won't.
          
          Still, deep down, I want to escape, maybe disappear into the air but then, what's the fun if life becomes smooth?
          
          :)

crmsnpen

No matter how many times I try to be that old girl or go with those dark books I used to read, I can't.
          
          I've seen it. I tried so many times to write something dark but I couldn't. I failed. I'm unable to come up with the ideas like I used to and I feel uncomfortable, detached with such things now. 
          
          It's shocking to me! 
          
          The least I spent with Jesus was three months and just look at this—I never knew I'd change this much. And do I regret that? Rend my heart and see I'm much happier with this. It's like I'm free now. I feel like I know truly what it is to write romance.

JuanaMaraDelguilaGal

@crmsnpen Jesus is love. We must unite our prayers for our brothers and sisters in the faith. They are persecuted, slaughtered, and forgotten. Does no one want peace? Let us respect beliefs and individual freedom
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