I am writing to express, to release what's on my mind, but often times i can't put it into writing... 

This is my comfort zone, my peace of mind and my voice whenever I can't express my feelings and thoughts. no connections on my life tho, but maybe the feelings itself, the always vulnerable main character and antagonists which portray maybe the negative vibes inside me, I don't know. my mind is messed up right now also my writing, but I always wanted to write stories. 

Now I'm starting to create fantasy theme novel, I want to write it and be forever drawn into it, maybe to forget all negative things happening right now, I'm really messed up inside right now, not obvious tho whenever somebody see me smiling and laughing, very different when I am alone.

It feels like I'm not myself or maybe the frustrations keeps drowning me. "Can I make it out alive?" Maybe, I don't know.