I have emerged from the swamp I've been hiding at, and I have some talking to do
I didn't mean to disappear or go off the grid so completely as I did this year, and I am really sorry about that =') I just didn't realize how fast time has gone by and how long it has been since I've been truly active around here (juggling two profiles is surprisingly messy) =') Some may know I have two profiles these days, this as my official profile, and @shadedsin as my second profile, and I admit, Shady has been receiving most of my love ever since I created it, which also wasn't my intention, it was supposed to be my side hobby, but it grew from that =')
The stories I have here on this profile, and the entire Dolly G "brand" I've created feels quite distant to me these days. I feel detached from this whole side of my writing. I'm currently writing the next chapter of At The End of Nightfall and... it's a struggle. The entire book has been a struggle to write. I wish it wasn't, because I loved that series, and I want that love back, I just don't know how to get it back.
I've been feeling like this for at least two years, too, maybe longer. I think I burned out quite hard before that, and finding that spark felt almost impossible. It didn't help that Wattpad put several of my novels in Paid program (they had the rights, and they did try to inform me but they sent that info in the wrong email, so I never knew until the stories were already in Paid) which pretty much killed all the activity on my profile. I wasn't getting many readers, followers and those comments I love so much. It felt like people stopped liking my stuff after years of so much love I received.
It also didn't help that I felt like all I did in writing circles was making people angry at me. I kept blurting things without thinking, shared too much, and drove away friends. I felt like I should just stop interacting with writing circles, which I basically did to make sure I didn't keep ruining things for myself.
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